


When the Stars Align

by mizuie



Series: When the Stars Align [1]
Category: In a Heartbeat (Short Film)
Genre: Academy, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Best Friends, Bi-Curiosity, Boys In Love, Bullying, Canon Gay Relationship, College, Conflict, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gen, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Homosexuality, Jonathan’s Mother, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Living Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, New School, Porn With Plot, Prep Academy, Protective Jonathan (In a Heartbeat), Questioning, Sexual Experimentation, Sherwins’s parents, mizuiefanfic, new kid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-02-13 19:46:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12991212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizuie/pseuds/mizuie
Summary: Due to his mothers job, Jonathan has moved around a lot as a childNow given the opportunity to finish his last 2 years of High School without jumping around & having to be homeschooled from various Hotel Wi-Fi spotsJohnathan.. isn't sure how he'll adaptInsert Sherwin, Jonathan neighbor & classmateSherwin was excited for those new neighbors of his to move inBut the last thing he'd expect is a gorgeous guy living right next to him!Not being sure how to handle himself, Sherwin wants to be friends with Jonathan - but seems a little too over eager & always seems to mess upSherwin doesn’t want to bother JonathanFeeling that - this bubbling feeling of his could be a problem for him...He just wants to get to know him, just hang out & be good friendsBut it seems that his heart has a different feeling for JonathanJoin Jonathan & Sherwin in this ongoing FanFicWhen the Stars Align





	1. Chapter 1

The drive was long, longer than Jonathan would have hoped to expect. With the stops he and his mother made on top of both stopping to sleep and eat, today was totaling on the fourth day. Jonathan hated to ask his mother if they were there yet, asking once the second day and now, the fourth day.

 

“Hey mom,” Jonathan said putting his bookmark where he had stopped to finish reading, “are we there yet?”

 

“Actually,” his mother began, “we’re pulling into the county where the community is.”

 

Oh..

 

“Okay,” he said, “let me know when we’re there.”

 

“Reading?” she mused

 

Jonathan's eyes flicked down, “Yeah,”

 

“Same one?”

 

“Mhm,” the brunette replied, “can’t put it down.”

 

The rest of the drive, maybe about thirty or so minutes, was spent skimming the pages of his reading material. Blue eyes seemed to expertly skim the paragraphs given to him, rubbing his eyes and giving a small yawn before bookmarking his page. _Almost done_. Those same blue eyes flicked up, looking around to see his mother pulling the car into their driveway.

 

“Hey Jonathan we’re here.”

 

“Yeah mom,” the tanned skinned brunette said unclicking his seatbelt, “I see it.”

 

Stepping out of the passenger seat to his mothers Santa Fe, the tall teen pushed his arms out and stretched them upward.

 

_pop!!_

_pop!!_

 

Jonathan pushed his arms forward, eyes closed as he stretched his limbs outside next to the car. Rolling his shoulders, the brunette then cracked his neck and rubbed at the back of his nape like he was sore.. It was because he was.

 

Sitting in the car for four days, cramped, with no exercise.. It can really get to a guy.

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he rubbed the corners of his eyes with his index finger and thumb.

 

_bright.._

 

“Jonathan!”

 

Turning his head, he opened his eyes to see his mother coming towards him with a box.

 

“Here,” she said in a struggled voice, “Oof!!”

 

She practically plopped the large and heavy box within his arms, taking a hairtie and pulling her long wavy chocolate brown hair up into a messy bun.

 

“Take this and start to hook it up in the masterbed bedroom, my clients must be freaking out by now.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Jonathan started to move away from his mother and towards the open door of the new two story house him and his mother were moving into, his mother calling to him as he walked.

 

“The movers should be here soon!” she called.

 

“ ‘Kay,” he said.

 

“I’ll start to have them take in your stuff first!”

 

“Got it,” he called back, stepping up on the three stepped stairs that led up to the front door of the house.

 

Entering the house felt.. Strange. Moving around was nothing new to Jonathan, but being told that he would finish up the last two years at an Academy Prep School kind of surprised him. Due to his mother's work and how often they had to jump around, he’s done homeschooling for the past four years, mostly doing his homework and online scheduled class meetups in his Hotel room or the lobby of the Hotel.

Having his own room to call his own, and to decorate however he pleased..?

It hit him that the reality was setting in & that he would have to attend a school with other people.. something he hasn’t done since the 6th grade.

 

_sigh_

 

Heading up the stairs to the master bedroom, the brunette carried the large heavy box up the steps with ease. He stopped to look left, then right. The brunette then headed left, opening the door and peeking his head inside. This room looked big, but not like a master bedroom.. Guess this was his bedroom.

 

Jonathan left the door open, turning at his heel and heading to the master bedroom. He set the box on the floor, opening the door and peeked inside.

 

_Yup_

_This was the master bedroom_

 

Apparently his mother ordered this certain desk for her three monitors, got the desk delivered and set in the master bedroom before everything else just for this reason. Jonathan pushed the door open and walked inside, pulling the box in and began to set up his mothers three monitors on her desk.

 

It wasn’t long til he was done, exiting his mother's room to pass one of the moving men carrying something to set in the master bedroom. Entering his own room, Jonathan saw that his boxes, furniture and lamps were already in his room. Pulling out his phone, he then checked the list he made to make sure everything was there, and it was.

 

Looking at the way the moving men placed everything made the brunette frown. He let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed the back of his neck, going to look for his bed linen box after rearranging his furniture in a way he liked it.

 

Currently, both windows to Jonathan's room were curtainless. Across from Jonathan's room was another room, the house next to his mirroring the interior structure of the house. This room could be seen with red and pink curtains, a curious brown eye watching the new neighbor that seemed to have taken up the room.


	2. Chapter 2

To Jonathan's neighbor, Sherwin, that room once held itself as a computer study from the previous owners. It doubled as a computer room and a small library for the elderly couple that lived there before. The red head had never paid any mind to the room.. only because he didn’t really have the need to.

 

The FOR SALE sign had been up for months.. He’d go as far and say even eight months! After those elderly folks moved out, the sign stayed up and Sherwin wondered if he was ever going to get new neighbors..

 

Then one day when getting home, the sign had a big SOLD sticker slapped on the front. He couldn’t help but smile, glad him and his parents were getting new neighbors. Sherwin wondered what kind of people might move in.. and when? A  family? A couple expecting? A couple with a newborn? Maybe it was a couple with a young kid and was excepting their second! He could get babysitting money if that was the case! That’d be pretty awesome!

 

For the next few weeks he wondered about the nextdoor neighbors he had yet to meet, wondering what kind of people they might be. When the day finally arrived though.. he was at a loss for words. Seeing as it was Summer Break, the redhead sat at his desk doodling on a sheet of printer paper with nothing to do. It was nearing the end of the sweet time off and though Sherwin had done a lot of fun stuff this summer, he was kinda getting bored.. Wishing school would come sooner.. Yet stay further.

 

_sigh_

 

Sherwin dropped his pencil on his desk and pushed himself away, putting his feet to the floor and spinning himself lazily in his swivel chair.

 

“Boreeeeeeddd.”

 

Leaning back, his chair leaned back with a lazy Sherwin tilting his head back & his vision upside down. He opened his eyes just as bored, brows furrowing when seeing an unfamiliar Aqua colored car stop, turn, and pull itself into the SOLD house.

 

With his eyes widening, the red head pushed himself up and lunged himself forward. His swivel chair rolled over to his dresser as he pushed his palms to his desk, leaning over it and standing on his tiptoes to spy on the new neighbors.

 

What he saw though made him feel like melting on the spot

The one thing he hadn’t thought of...  was having a drop dead gorgeous piece of eyecandy for a next door neighbor

 

_gulp_

 

Sherwin felt like he had a frog stuck in his throat, the redhead having to pull himself away from the window by his desk. Touching both palms to his cheeks, he could just feel the heat radiating off of them.

 

_This wasn’t good.._

 

“I just have to distract myself for the time being,” he said with a confident nod, “I’ll go make myself something to eat.”

 

He nods to himself once more, “yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

 

Sherwin heads downstairs and to the kitchen, chatting with his mother as he made himself something for lunch.

 

“You know what I think?” she said to her son

 

“What?” he asked, spreading mustard on the bread to his sandwich, “What do you think?”

 

“I think I’m going to do the neighborly thing and bring something over to them.”

 

Honey Brown hues flicked themselves up to look at his mother, his teeth biting the inside of his cheek as she spoke.

 

“O - Over to who?” the redhead asked, playing dumb.

 

“Did you not see?” she asked, “the new neighbors moved in.. I’m thinking of bringing something over to them.. What do you think?”

 

_What do I think..?_

  
“U - Um..”

 

_blink_

_blink_

 

“Um..”

 

 _What_ **_do_ ** _I think..?_ The redhead thought, questioning himself

 

“I think that it’s too soon,” he said, “I mean.. I’m sure they’re exhausted from.. _where ever_ they moved from and I’m sure they want to unpack and relax.”

 

“Maybe tomorrow.. Since I know you’re busy,” Sherwin began, “I can bake some stuff and make them some of those sub sandwiches you showed me how to make?”

 

“The Turkey ones?” his mother mused curiously

 

“Mhm,” Sherwin said, “the one with the sweet mustard.”

 

Both of them nod and chat a little more before Sherwin excuses himself to eat in his room. Coming back into his bedroom, the redhead holds one plate in his hand, two caprisuns in his mouth by his teeth, and a small bag of chips in his other hand. He enters his room and closes the door with the back of his foot, brown orbs looking up to see that new neighbor of his going back and forth from the room across from his.

 

Brown eyes widen as he realizes he can see his neighbor through his ajared curtains. Out of sheer panic, the redhead sets all of the stuff down on the bed and bolts over to the window, pulling the ajared part closed. Clammy hands gripped at the pink hem of the red curtain, curiosity getting the best of him and pulling the edge of the curtain back just a bit to get a peek at his new neighbor.

 

_Guess an old computer room can be used for something good.. I suppose_

 

Sherwin bit at his lower lip like a giddy school girl with a crush, pushing the flesh of his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched this new neighbor of his.

 

 _Fuck…_ Sherwin thought, _I really want to talk to him…_

 

Unconsciously, the redhead gripped at the curtain, watching as the tan skinned brunette pace around, moving this there and that here, he seemed to be in the zone working. The point that made Sherwin pull back and stop from spying on his neighbor was when that tan arm gripped at the hem of his shirt and pulled it upwards, wiping the sweat from his forehead and face on the bottom of his shirt.

 

It was that toned figure that made Sherwin pull back and avert his eyes. If he watched any longer he’d have a heart attack and he didn’t want that… his heart was already going a mile a minute.

 

_blink_

_blink_

 

It was no use, that pose was forever burned into Sherwin’s mind, the redhead standing and cursing at himself as he went over to his bed. Pulling the plate into his lap, he wasn’t happy with the fact that he now felt like the ultimate peeping tom weirdo.

 

Pushing his face into his hands, he let out a frustrated groan.

 

“I’ll make up for it tomorrow,” the redhead said, “I’m bring them the best darn lunch they’ve ever had.” Smiling, Sherwin continued his ramblings to himself, the male wondering how much he should make, what else he could throw in & what time he should head over there.

 

 _Maybe lunch time_ , he thought, _I’m sure coming over before 12pm would look rude.. and I don’t want to give off that vibe_.

 

Giving his cheeks a few pats, he felt the sting to them as he pushed himself up from the edge of his bed. It was time to research what kind of baking he would do.

 

He could do cookies

Or maybe he could do brownies..

A cake would always be good too...

 

The more Sherwin thought on this, the more he wanted to lowkey try and impress that next door neighbor of his.

 

The next day Sherwin woke up in an unusual state, the redhead bright eyed and determined to make the best gosh darn lunch the two have ever eaten. The pale skinned, freckle covered male began with the baking. He made everything from scratch, wanting to put time, love and effort into what he was making.

 

It upset Sherwin though that he wasn’t done til nearly 1:30pm

 

He didn’t want to rush anything, but he knew better than to stay up late last night since he was going to do this when he got up. Those damn Summer binge watching days, right?

 

Exiting the house, the redhead frowned when not seeing that Aqua blue car parked out front. Maybe they were gone for the day..? Or maybe someone was home, either way, Sherwin ventured from the porch of his own home - up to the porch of his new neighbors house

 

_knock_

_knock_

_knock_

 

With a quick swipe of his hand through his thick red locks, Sherwin attempted to calm the forever lasting floof that defied his wishes and curled at the end of each patch of thick hair. _Ah.. whatever.._ Sherwin thought, _it doesn’t need to be perfect._

 

Fearing that no one was home, the short pale redhead knocked again.

 

_knock_

_knock_

_knock_


	3. Chapter 3

That night was spent organizing until about 11 o'clock at night. Jonathan always having to stop, step back, and remind himself that - it can always be continued tomorrow. Right now, it irked him how various different things lay whenever they pleased, unorganized and stopped seemingly half way. It was okay though, tomorrow was always another day.

 

The morning brought sheer hate from Jonathan, hissing when the sun's rays slowly made its presence known with his curtainless window. “ _Hnnng…. Nnn.._ ” The brunette grumbled out tiredly, not liking the fact that his time schedule was all fucky now.

 

Grumbling incoherently, the tanned man shuffled his way to the bathroom to use it Jonathan wondered what time it actually was, if there was hot water, how long he could get away with standing under a nice hot stream, and if his mom was up.

 

Flushing the toilet, Jonathan washed his hands and shuffled his way back to his room. The male quietly grabbed his clothing for the day, turning at his heel and headed to the bathroom to see if there was any hot water & if he could take a shower.

 

_Jackpot_

 

Jonathan cracked a small smile when feeling the hot water almost automatically. Shedding his clothing, the brunette then stepped under the spray of the nozzle.

 

Seemed his mother was out of the house, only coming to this conclusion when getting away with taking a thirty minute shower. _He knew, somewhere off in the distance, hot showers that never lose their warmth will one day be the death of him_. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he stopped when opening the door to realize that - _hey, maybe I shouldn’t change nude in front of a curtainless window_. Grumbling, the brunette closed the door and dropped the towel around his waist, putting on his clothes.

 

Exiting the bathroom, Jonathan shuffled his way back to his bedroom. Hunger didn’t really creep into the brunette’s mindset until he looked quizzically down at his stomach, wondering why it was grumbling. _I haven’t eaten yet.. have I..?_ Jonathan thought to himself, _wonder what we have left downstairs.._

 

Jonathan stood up, exiting his room and turning at his heel to head downstairs. One hand kept his balance on the rail, yawning tiredly as the other one pushed itself up under his shirt, itching lazily at his tanned torso.

 

 

‘ **_Went into the office_** ’ - **Mom**

‘ **_Will be back probably around dinner, if not, then $40 is on my dresser_** ’ - **Mom**

 

 

Rubbing at his eyes a bit tiredly, Jonathan read the notes posted on the fridge, before opening the fridge.

 

All that was in the fridge was mom’s half eaten Chinese food (that she’ll probably not want), three bottled waters, 3 ketchup packets, 1 mustard packet, and a lone cheese stick. Taking the Chinese food, the brunette grabbed a fork and began to eat it right from the container, heading back up the steps. For the time being, he’d finish eating this and get back to what he was doing.. maybe around lunch time he’d head over to the nearest grocery and pick up a few things.

 

Hours pass, Jonathan keeping himself busy by organizing and making lists of things he’d have to get for the new school year, for his room & as well as other various things. Busy, busy, busy - that’s what Jonathan was. It wasn’t until his stomach was starting to call for his attention that Jonathan decided to start slowing down. Standing, the tall tanned skinned brunette stretched his arms upward, bending his arm back and pressing on the nape of his neck as he rolled his neck.

 

The male then headed to the master bedroom, grabbing the $40 from the dresser and headed back to his room. Jonathan began to internally think about the things he might need for the time being and what he could and couldn’t get with the $40 he had on him.

 

 _Fuck.._ patting both pockets to his sweats, he wondered where he put his phone. Pushing the money into one of the pockets of his sweatpants, Jonathan began to look for his phone. Frustrated, the brunette paced back and forth, wondering where he could have left it…

 

_knock_

_knock_

_knock_

 

Furrowed brows pushed themselves to his bedroom door.. Swearing having just heard someone knocking at the front door.. Or at least he thought he did.

 

Flicking his gaze away from the door, his vision soon landed on his phone.

 

_knock_

_knock_

_knock_

 

Ah..man, there was someone there

 

“Coming!” Jonathan called out from his bedroom, the person at the front door probably not hearing him. With one hand gripping at his phone, the other steadied himself on the railing as he made his way downstairs. “Coming!” he called out once more, the deep toned voice echoing out to the front for it to be heard better this time.

The brunette reached the front door, unlocking the top lock but having a bit of trouble with the bottom one. Jonathan grabbed one of the keys on small side table by the door, trying it. Guess this was a mail key or something.. Jonathan tried another, and this one unlocked the door.

 

_click_

_click_

 

Jonathan opened the door and looked forward, not seeing anyone. He furrowed his brows, the tall brunette tilting his gaze down - only to see another male. This guy was small in stature with bright red poofy hair.. For a moment, Jonathan thought this guy was a chick.

_Androgynous was the word.. was it not..?_

 

“Oh…” The hand gripping his phone now rested against the doorframe, one leg crossing behind his other ankle as his weight shifted to his flat foot. “Hey,” he said, free hand reaching up under his tee and itching at his now exposed torso, “whats up? You need something?”


	4. Chapter 4

The deep booming voice of the call from inside startled Sherwin, shoulders jolting. It was a 50 - 50 mixture. Fifty in the deep tone of the voice. Fifty in realizing that it was the guy, and all one hundred pure percent of Sherwin’s knees turning to straight jelly.

 

The redhead wasn’t sure though what he said, not understanding through the walls of the home - but assuming it was something along the lines of saying…

 

_Yes Sherwin, here I come_

_Get ready_

_Get ready to embarrass yourself_

 

He physically shook his head, a chill going down his spine as he shook those thoughts

  


_No_ , he thought internally, _I’m just going to be his friend_   
  
I just want one

_One_

_One, you know how that’s spelled?_

_One_

_O N E_

_One_ _  
_ _Now,_

_Shut.Up._

  


His breath hitched, brought back to reality by the front door making.. metallic clicking sounds.

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

Honey colored brown hues flicked themselves up, upward to a tall guy with tan skin. A pink dusted on the apples of his freckle cropped cheeks as he thought - _cinnamon_ \- he was a nice shade, that reminded him of cinnamon buns. That pink darkened as he thought this, only darkening as those bluish grey orbs stared above Sherwin, almost…  confused in a way.

 

He looked down and blinked at Sherwin, he had a kind of sleepy look on his face - tired.

 

Sherwin couldn’t help but find it kind of funny.. and kind of cute.

_How he looked just then with that kind of.. ‘Must be this tall’ to ride kind of look, heh, that was pretty cute_

 

Must have been his red hair shining in the sunlight that caught his attention - that’s usually how it worked.

 

That cute feeling however was ultimately crushed when his peripheral vision caught the tanned brunette with his hand up the bottom of his shirt - _oh how he wanted to.._

 

 _Just a friend_ , he thought - eyes staying glued to the others gaze.

_Just.One._

 

His cheeks burned, half from embarrassment & half from selfish anger.

 

“H - Hi!” he croaked out awkwardly

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

_Fuck_

 

Sherwin lifted his bent elbow up and turned his head to clear his throat within the crook of his elbow. ahem. Looking back to the guy before him - Sherwin flashed him a large, genuine, sweet smile. “Hi!” he repeated, “I’m Sherwin.”

 

“I live next door,” he cocked his head to the left, “I noticed you guys move in yesterday.. And well, I mean..” _oh boy - he was losing himself_ “my mom already mentioned about being neighborly and bringing something over.. I said that you guys must be exhausted and busy unpacking with.. Um..”

 

**_pause_ **

 

“Where ever you came from but..” **_blink blink_ ** “um..”

_Oh fuck.. Was he he rambling..?_

 

Eyes studying the confused brunette, it only affirmed this thought.

 

“I guess we wanted to do one of those old moves neighbors do in the nineteen fifties,” he blurted out randomly, red hair bouncing, “y - you know?”

 

He cracked another smile, this one one sided and more awkward - definitely less genuine than the first. It then occurred to Sherwin that this guy could have no idea what he was talking about - a pretty face, just another to look at. It left a somewhat sour taste in his mouth to realize this, that he could be just like another Seth, Eric or Liam. This thought made him shiver. He wanted better - he hoped for the better.

 

“Yeah,” that deep toned voice replied, “that’s nice of you guys.”  
  
A more genuine smile rose to his pale face, the gold flecks in his honey brown orbs almost lighting up as his features turned soft & more genuine.

 

“It’s no problem,” he spoke “I - ”

“- I”

 

“ … ”

“ … ”

 

The two had cut each other off, a moment of silence occurred and offered for the male to go first.

 

“No, no,” the brunette spoke, now standing on both feet - hand slipping the phone he was holding into one of the pockets of his grey sweatpants. “You go on.”

 

Sherwin shook his head, eyes closed as wispy red curls bouncing on his head, “no it’s okay,” he said, eyes opening to meet the others, “you go on.”

 

That genuine smile spread on those tanned lips left Sherwin with an ache

An ache he quickly pushed down - _way down_

It was a feeling he’d revisit later, for now he’d just smile

He didn’t need to think about how his chest ached

Or how that smile was genuine, directed at him and warm

 

He also didn’t need to think about those damn sexual lewd thoughts budding in the back of his mind

 

 _A friend,_ he repeated internally to himself - physically smiling

_Just one_

 

That charming smile then turned a bit, a kind of.. snickering scoffing feel behind it. “I was just gonna comment if it’s the traditional muffins or cake..” he mused, one tanned shoulder pressed against the doorframe. “Too bad though,” he said, “it’d also be cool if you brought it over in one those.. Ya know.. Nineteen fifties cake tins or glassware.”

 

His eyes then shoot down, puzzled, curious.

 

“Kinda big for just a cake though,” eyes flick up from the basket to brown eyes, “eh?”

 

Frozen, the redhead didn’t know how to respond.

 

It was the first time he had felt like this, and it was the first time that he felt a new type of aching feeling. The one before, he had felt many times before. It was a familiar aching feeling. An aching feeling he had grown accustomed to.. But this one? This one was a new type of feeling, a new achy feeling he hated more than the other.

 

“Heh,” he chuckled out, “yeah kinda big ain’t she?” A pale hand with slender fingers gave the woven basket a firm pat, “but you’re right,” he said, “it’s a mixture.”

  


_He hated this feeling_

  


“Mom and I figured in making you guys lunch so there’s a good bundle of stuff in there.” Sherwin flashes a smile at the guy, his neighbor. “Hope you and your parents enjoy it.”

 

“My mom’s out,” the deep voice said suddenly, the owner of that lovely voice stepping forward to peek inside one of the flap of the basket Sherwin was holding. _He was close_. “Oh..” Sherwin said, embarrassed he didn’t even ask to see if his parents were together or not. With Sherwin’s parents still being together among a large amount of divorce rates - it always gave him a little more knock of reality back into the dose he already has.

 

“Sorry..” he said shamefully, feeling even more awkward as he just stood there. He didn’t excuse himself and flee, he didn’t shove the basket into the others arms and run. He didn’t. _He wanted to.. He really did, but he was frozen where he stood_. “It’s no problem,” the voice spoke from above, a tanned hand pulling out a seran wrapped cookie.

 

“You didn’t know,” he began to unwrap the cookie, “did you wrap each cookie individually?” he mused - curious.

 

“Each cookie _and_ brownie,” Sherwin corrected, eyes flicking up.

 

_Just one_

 

He smiled at the guy, the first smile exposing his teeth not being the one he gave his neighbor. This one, the one he gave him now, was one that was a thin lipped smile. Lips pressed together a bit thinly, but raising the pink tinted apples of his cheeks. It was more genuine, genuine and unsure.

 

**_gulp_ **

“If you’re not doing anything..” Sherwin began, “and if you haven’t already eaten.. Can I join you?”

 

The unsurety only rested on the redheads features in front of him. He was nervous, anxious.. Kind of like a cornered rabbit in a way - jittery. He wasn’t exactly sure how this example came to mind.. but that’s how he thought of it. “Sure,” Jonathan replied, he stepped aside, “C’mon in.”

 

“I’m Jonathan by the way,” he said, “it’s nice to meet you, Sherwin.”


	5. Chapter 5

Stepping himself to the side, Jonathan cocked his head into the interior of his house to urge the kid inside - the guy looked at him almost like he was unsure if Jonathan was telling the truth or not. “You can put er’ on the coffee table right there,” he instructed, “I’ll be right back.”

 

Sherwin entered the house, muttering a soft apology of intrusion as he did like instructed, setting the basket on the coffee table. Sherwin took it upon himself to gently scoot the table more towards the couch where he sat, his honey brown hues looked around. Gaze flicking here, flicking there, and trying not to stare in one place for too long.

 

Sherwin’s hands found themselves balled tightly on his thighs as he looked around, holding the ends of his sleeves within his grip. He was nervous, yet this was something that he couldn’t help.

 

  
He looked around and saw boxes, lots and lots of boxes. Other things he noticed was the amount of bookcases they had and the lack of any major electronics downstairs. Simple things like a TV, stereo or game system. The only electronic of any kind he saw was a treadmill, then you walked into the overhang that led to the kitchen and a bit before that - the staircase that led to the second floor.

 

The sudden realization that the guy called the basket a her, just abbreviated in a way, made him smile. _blink blink_ . Brown orbs blinked profoundly, shoulders twitching out of surprise when a tanned hand held out a bottled water for him. _I zoned out_ , he thought as he mindlessly took the cold bottle, _didn’t I?_

 

Jonathan plopped himself down next to Sherwin, a good foot or so away from Sherwin, but still nonetheless - next to him. The brunette leaned back into the plush feeling of the couch, one leg bent to prop his heel up on the edge of the coffee table.

 

**_glugg_ **

**_glugg_ **

**_glugg_ **

 

Pulling his lips back from the bottle, Jonathan licked the remaining water over his lip. Capping it, he then leaned over and picked up the basket. He set it in his lap, blinking profoundly as he saw the array of what was in the woven wooden picnic basket. “You really weren’t kidding when you said you had a good bundle for us.”  
  
Bluish grey eyes flicked to the side, meeting Sherwin’s own brown ones and flashing him a smile. “You know,” he began, “you actually saved me from going out.”  
  
“Oh?” Sherwin asked, scooting himself a bit closer so he could reach his arm over and grab inside the basket.

 

“Mhm, I didn’t really want to go out today anyway..” Jonathan replied, nodding. Those blue eyes watched his neighbors pale hand reach in and grab out what he wanted. “So thanks.” There must have been at least another six or seven sandwiches in there.. Plus however many cookies and brownies there actually were in there. _Maybe moving here wouldn’t be too bad_ , Jonathan thought. His neighbor seemed nice - _a little socially awkward maybe_ \- but nice.

 

“I told you that my mom isn’t here,” Jonathan began, “she’s a busy lady so she usually isn’t.” His own hand reaches in and pulls out one of the sandwiches, looking at Sherwin who was holding the delistyle sandwich with both hands - he kinda looked like a squirrel. “Are these all the same?” he asked. Sherwin nodded, his red locks bouncing a bit as he did so. “When she is, she’s usually to herself because.. Even when she’s out of the office.. She really isn’t.”

 

“One of those jobs?” Sherwin asked  
  
“Mhm.”

 

“She does make time for me though,” Jonathan continued, “but I know better now.. to not wait until she comes home hoping that she’ll have food with her. So when she leaves me a note like that I go out and pick stuff up anyway.”  
  
“Note?”  
  
“She usually leaves me a generic note saying that if she isn’t back around dinner time that I should go out and get some groceries.”

  
“Oh, okay.”

“So I was looking for my phone, and I couldn’t find it.. then there you were.”  
“ _Like a gift from the Gods_ .”

Jonathan then bit into the sandwich, letting the taste sit on his tastebuds as he chewed. “ _Mm_ ,” he licked his lips, catching a bit of the sweet mustard he missed from the bite, “ _this is really good_.”

 

Sherwin smiles, keeping his gaze averted from Jonathan’s for the time being -  continuing to look around where they were situated. _So they have high ceilings too.. cool_. “Thanks,” he said, “we use different spices and this sweet mustard that my mom gets imported from my aunt, it’s only an overseas kind of thing apparently.”

 

Sherwin shrugs, taking another bite of his sandwich - mostly just to shut himself up.

 

“Well thanks anyway Sherwin,” the brunette said, “I’m sure my mom will appreciate this just as much as I do.” He flashes the redhead a smile, the two continuing with light chatter as they ate. Jonathan commented on how he thought it was thoughtful that Sherwin went out of his way to not use any ingredients that could lead to an allergy - seeing as he knew nothing of his new neighbors.

 

_Sherwin lied and told Jonathan that it was all his mother's idea._

 

“To make everything by scratch though?” Jonathan commented, “I still have to say I’m impressed either way, that’s going the extra mile man.”

 

Now on his second sandwich, he gives Sherwin’s upper arm a light & playful punch. This made Sherwin uneasy for a moment, not used to the joking behavior. He lets out an equally awkward chuckle that matches his smile. _Boy would I just like to melt into the floor please, right now would be nice - yeah, thanks._

 

In order to make up for his awkward laughter, he returns the action by repeating what Jonathan did. Wrong move though, seeing as he could have sworn he just playfully punched his knuckles against a rock. “ _Ow_ ,” Sherwin said pulling his hand back, “Jesus man break my hand why don’t you?”

 

“Sorry,” Jonathan said, trying his best to bite down his smile, “breaking your hand wasn’t my intention.” They both look at each other, only before bursting into laughter. After they eat, Jonathan invites Sherwin to stay over a little longer. The devil on Sherwin’s shoulder urging him to go, to be social, to let Jonathan show him around, maybe chill upstairs with him and see his room.. See that curtainless window peering into his own room. “Sorry,” Sherwin said, “I got stuff I need to do and sort through, lots of organization stuff to get to.”

  
**_Lies_ **

 

“Ah, yeah..” Jonathan nods, “I getcha.” He flashes Sherwin a smile, hands pushing themselves nonchalantly into the pockets of his sweatpants, “maybe next time then.”

  
_Next time_

  
This rung over and over within Sherwin’s head, even after he had gotten back home. His heart thumped loudly in his ears, stomach nauseous and his chest aching as he leaned against the back of the closed door.  
  
“ _Fuck.._ ” he cussed out lowly to himself, hands pushing up to cup his face, “ _what am I going to do..?_ ”


	6. Chapter 6

_ Ignore it _ , he thought,  _ that’s what I’ll do _

 

Days had passed since he had last stepped foot outside his house, mostly staying holed up in his room preparing himself for their next casual encounter & the fact that school was starting up again. Sherwin wanted to ask, to ask what school he was going to - or even if he was going to school somewhere in the area. He was curious,  _ so curious...  _ that he actually found himself back on the front porch of his neighbors home. Sherwin wondered why he hadn’t thought more of this through, of what what he was going to say or even, how to form the question that he wanted to ask Jonathan.

  
  
  


_ Jonathan _

  
  
  


Sherwin closed his eyes and smiled at the internal thought of his name, melting into the syllables before his eyes snapped open, shoulders jolting to the sound of a metal key.

 

_ click _

 

To his luck, Jonathan had answered. The tanned, exposed, arms of his neighbor were in view. Last time he had met with Jonathan he was wearing a quarter length sleeved shirt, not a tank like he was wearing now. Sherwin’s eyes glued to the toned definition of his upper arms, blatantly staring.

 

“Ah, hey Sherwin.”

 

Brown hues flicked back to Jonathan’s face, eyes going from his arm, his lips, and now staying on his eyes.

_Keep them there_ , Sherwin told himself, _eye contact is key.. even if you hate it.._

 

“You need something?”

 

The taller teen opened the door more, bringing his body more into view. Jonathan appeared to be working out, since he was in basketball shorts and a tank.. But when Sherwin’s gaze caught one hand holding paper towels and the other holding glass cleaner, he assumed otherwise.

 

“Ah.. no..”

 

Jonathan arched a brow at the redhead, opening his mouth to speak before being cut off.

 

“I mean..” the brunette watched as those honey brown orbs flicked side to side

_ He.. really isn’t good at social situations.. Is he..? _

 

Jonathan smiled softly, mostly to himself.

 

“Kinda..?” Shrewin had to pause and think before saying this, cheeks dusting a pink as he thought.. _God well that was a great way to start the fucking conversation Shrewin, way to -_

 

“Wanna come in?” Jonathan asked, wiping some sweat that was rolling down the side of his temple off with the back of his hand, “I could use a break anyway..”

 

_**blink** _

_**blink** _

 

“Y - Yeah..?” Sherwin asked, dumbfoundedly.

 

“Yeah, c’mon in.”

 

“You’re not busy?”

 

“No I’m not,” he paused, “ _well.._ ” he directed his gaze at Sherwin, “ _kinda_.”

 

That pink dusting only darkened, was he.. Flirting with him?

_No, no, no, no, no_.. he thought, _he’s just teasing me.. like.. Pulling my leg_

_ That’s it _

 

There was **no way** that Jonathan would be into guys

There was just **absolutely no way**

.. and Sherwin could deal with that, as long as he could have Jonathan as his friend

 

Jonathan opened the door wider, motioning the hand holding the bunched up paper towels to the redhead, “c’mon in.”

 

“Well.. if you’re sure..”

 

“I am,” Jonathan said, “c’mon in.”

 

Sherwin nods to Jonathan,  entering his neighbors home.

“ _ Sorry for intruding _ ,” Sherwin mumbled under his breath.

 

“Hm?”

 

Sherwin turned back to Jonathan, forcing a smile. “I said, where’s your bathroom?”

 

“Oh,” the brunette flashes him a smile, “sorry I didn’t hear you.”

 

“You’re ok,” Sherwin replied.

 

After being shown the bathroom on the second floor, it was apparent to Sherwin that Jonathan had been cleaning.

Everything looked so... _spotless_.

 

_**flip** _

_**click** _

 

“Guess he has no choice,” Sherwin said softly to himself, eyes cast downwards towards his feet. “I think he said..” he tilts his head to the side a bit, trying to remember. “His mother is out a lot and isn’t home often.. So he’s probably by himself a lot."

 

Thinking about being by himself, no parents in the house with the endless possibilities of things he could do, movies to watch that they wouldn’t approve, sites he could visit without constantly having the need to look over his shoulder or dart his eyes up to see if his parents eye was on him..

 

It sounded good.. Until he started to think about having to be like that practically 24/7

It would be boring

Get boring.. And quickly

 

Being alone... all by himself  
It'd be nice, kinda like.. living like an adut, but Sherwin knew better than that.

 

His mother left Jonathan money, stuff to survive.. he just has to do a lot of things on his own, or by himself.

 

Brown hues snapped up to look at himself in the reflection - shelving with hardcover books catching his attention. Some framed artwork and a small second cabinet - just like the one that hung over the toilet, also accompanied the bathroom decor.

 

**_Bookshelves_ **

 

“That’s probably why they have a lot of bookshelves..” he whispered softly to himself, as if repeating a secret, “now that I think about it..” Sherwin flips on the faucet, washing his hands. “I think..” he furrows his brows as he washes his hands with the foam soap, “he might.. still..? be cleaning and unpacking?”

 

A couple days earlier he saw a mailman going back and forth with boxes that looked heavy, curious about the contents in each box that was brought back and forth.

 

Splashing cold water to his face, he rubbed the cool water into his freckled skin. Flipping off the faucet, Sherwin pulled his hands down his damp face and looked at himself in the large mirror. He pointed his index and middle finger towards himself, while staring at himself. He made the ‘ _I’m watching you_ ’ motion to himself, as he stared at himself.

 

“Eyes on his eyes.”

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

"That's it."

 

**_gulp_ **

 

“Got it?”

 

_**sigh** _

 

Sherwin sighs at himself and closes his eyes, propping his elbows on the bathroom counter and rubbing his hands back down his face. He sighed heavily.. _his chest hurt_.

 

He wanted to stare at Jonathan’s arms, ask to feel and ask how much the brunette could bench press.. Wondering if even Jonathan could bench him with just one arm and if so - if he would be willing to demonstrate that for him.

 

Sherwin pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs a loudly, irritated sigh at himself. “You’re gonna be fine Sherwin.” He pulls himself up and spins him on the ball of his heel, “twenty minutes and then you can go back home.”

 

_**slap!!** _

_**slap!!** _

 

Sherwin gives himself two firm slaps to his face - at the same time

He then unlocks the door and steps out, looking to his left and then his right, then settling into another uneasy sheet.

 

He turns, heading down to the room he thought was Jonathan’s.

 

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

 

“ _Sherwin_.”

 

Sherwin draws in a hitching breath of surprise, shoulders twitching in surprise when hearing both footsteps and his name being called by such a deep toned voice. Made him think he had done something wrong. His vision turned to meet Jonathan, who had an arm extended out to him - about to stop him from going into his mothers room.

 

“O - Oh.. sorry.. I thought this was your room.”

 

Jonathan lowered the hand he was gonna reach out and touch Sherwin’s shoulder with, flashing him a small smile. “It’s no problem.” He steps towards Sherwin and tilts his head back in his direction.

 

“C’mon," Jonathan said, smile still on his features, "my room is this way.”


	7. Chapter 7

The redhead stood outside of Jonathan’s door, watching as he opened it and assured him that he was welcome in. Eyes darting down to the floor, he felt his cheeks heat up from embarrassment as he realized he still had his shoes on. Sherwin was unsure if he should have taken them off at the front entrance or if he was even alright still walking around their home in them.

 

“Um…” eyes still directed down to the floor, they flick up to see Jonathan sitting on the edge of the bed. Cheeks deepen in color unintentionally, trying to gather his words as he seemed to have lost his voice.

 

“You okay?” Jonathan asked, arms behind his frame to keep himself up right.

 

Sherwin gave an unconvincing smile - awkward written all over it

 

He nods, bringing his elbow up and bending it, turning his head to the side - coughing into it

He felt kindof dizzy

 

“Um..” his voice was hoarse and broken

 

**_ahem_ **

 

Sherwin tries to clear his throat & while succeeding, he sounds more like a chick than a man

 

“...I was just wondering..” he started, “if I should have taken my shoes off at the front.. or if it’s ok  to take them off here..”

 

A dark brown brow gave the redhead before him an unsure arch

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

_Sherwin then began to ramble_

 

“Because.. you have this kind of flooring. Instead of carpet. My house.. “ _pause_ “we have carpet even on the stairs.. So we have people take their shoes off at the front.” _breathe_ “I just happened to walk in with them all the way up until this point.” _breathe_ “so.. I.. I realized I’m.. still wearing them.. and..”

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

“ _You’re cleaning.._ ” pause “ _I - I’m so sorry_.”

 

Jonathan cleaning just blew right over his head and he felt terrible..

It probably even showed on his face as his shoulders slumped in sync with defeat

 

“You’re so considerate,” Jonathan said.

 

Brown orbs flick up to meet Jonathan’s baby blue gaze, Sherwin’s own dark brows furrowing in unsurety. Never in his life had he met a guy like Jonathan.. Of course, up until this point. All signs told him that they would get along well together - great even! That, times with him would be fun, great, exciting & that there would never be a boring moment between them.

 

**_..recently though.. his hormones seemed.. really… out of whack lately…_ **

 

The feeling of his heart pounding in his chest not only filled his ears.. But it dropped down to his stomach to make.. flips, twists and coils. It was a warm feeling that caused Sherwin to bend at the hip and untie his shoes, sitting down on his ass for cover. _He was contracting a fucking hardon right before Jonathan, the guy who was relaxing loosely at the edge of his own goddamned bed_ .  
  
“U - Uhh.. yeah, yeah..” he slipped off one shoe, one purple sock being seen. “I’m sorry though..” he continued, unting the second one. “I should have taken them off at the front.”

 

“It’s not a problem,” Jonathan said, “you’ll remember for next time.”

 

 _Ooohhh Jonathan.._ Sherwin thought, _you’re so not helping_

 

**_sigh_ **

 

“I really appreciate that,” the brunette said, “there’s no need to apologize though,” he continued, “I didn’t even really notice until I was sitting and you stopped.”

 

Slipping off the second shoe, the sock on this foot was a neon pink and thinly striped neon blue rings around the fabric.

 

Jonathan smiled at this, finding it quirky and.. kinda cute for a guy to have such fun mismatched colored socks.. _but then again_.. It kinda felt like it was a normal occurrence for the redhead sitting down before the entrance to his bedroom.

 

“Mind if I use your bathroom again?” Sherwin asked, gaze still averted away from Jonathan, trying to keep the brunette assuming he was in a distracted mindset with his request. Asking this, he then put his shoes by the door and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He did this to try and unconsciously make Jonathan assume he was going to make a call in the bathroom.

 

That wasn’t weird right?

He’d buy that.. right?

 

“Nah man, go for it.”

 

The redhead sat on his ass, turning himself to the side and positioning his legs so as he did this - he stood as he turned. It only took him a moment to fully turn, but he called back to Jonathan -  telling the brunette that he’d be back in a few minutes.

 

Back in the bathroom, he wondered what Jonathan thought of him.. Using the bathroom for a second time - without a more in depth explanation. It wasn’t like he could know if Jonathan was thinking that, he didn’t ask Sherwin for a more in depth explanation.. but he couldn’t help but wonder

 

Wondering & worrying about these things that always drove him into a worrying coma

 

He was left wondering, Anxiety flaring up & playing out the scenario in his head  
Getting inside his own head more than he should with the thought of…

 

Wondering if Jonathan thought he was weird

Wondering how he could let Sherwin down easy without saying..

 

_So hey man, don’t come to my house again - oh - and don’t fucking talk to me_

_yeah, that’s it - questions?_

_there’s the door_

_that should answer every single one of them._

 

Sherwin leaned against the door for a few moments, looking down and seeing what the damage was. _It wasn’t too too bad.._ But it would be noticable it he left it just the way it was

 

_sigh_

 

Sighing, he knew that when he was flaccid again he could adjust himself more properly.

 

For the time being though..

  
Sherwin’s hand reached down into his pants, hips shimming left and right as he grabbed his dick and pinned it from laying against his lap - up - to be pinned against the waistband of his briefs. Though it left him kindof irritated and uncomfortable.. It was better than trying to explain to the brunette how he got in this predicament.

 

If he had to do that.. He’d probably be bolting out of the guys house

Shoeless

Crying, tears running down his cheeks

& probably a raging hardon at that point with a very confused Sherwin, with a probably even more confused Jonathan...

 

**_How he hated his fucking hormones right now_ **

_Can’t you just give me one fucking day off?_ Sherwin thought defeatedly

 

Clearing his throat, the redhead looked in front of him - seeing the mirror he was parallel with.

Sherwin frowned, adjusting the rest of his clothing. He turned to the side, inhaling a deep breath and swallowing the lump in his throat.

 

 **_ahem_ ** **_  
_**  
_So now I clear my throat like a fucking normal guy..?_ The redhead thought feeling a little down on himself, lacing those feelings through his confusion.

 

**_sigh_ **

 

_fuck..._

 

With one more heavy sigh, Sherwin then flips the faucet on, soaping his hands up to wash them. He made himself think of basic, boring & disgusting things. He tried keeping his mind busy - pushing those feelings _way fucking down_ until he was back at his own house.

 

Scanning himself over again, he adjusted his shirt once more before exiting.

 

**_tip_ **

**_tip_ **

**_tip_ **

 

Sherwin’s steps were soft and small, like a cats footing on carpet.  
  
He gave Jonathan’s door a small knock, frame evident in the open doorway - but still wanting to give the lounging brunette a sign he was here.

 

**_in_ **

**_out_ **

**_gulp_ **

**_in_ **

**_out_ **

 

 _That’s it Sherwin_ , he thought to himself, _you can do it_

_You can do this_

 

“Hey,” he said, “I’m here.”

 

Jonathan, lounging back on the bed, sat himself up. “Hey Sherwin,” he said smiling, “welcome back.”

 

Sherwin flashed him a soft, nervous smile - brown orbs quickly darting down as he entered the bedroom.  
  
For still unpacking, the guy was neat and organized about it - that was something that Sherwin admired.

 

 **_tip_ ** **_  
_****_tip_ ** **_  
_ ** _tip_

**_  
_**  
“You.. sitting over there?” Jonathan asked, a dark brow arching as he crossed his legs underneath himself.  
  
Sherwin forced himself to keep the back of his throat open, letting the saliva slide down his throat instead of it pooling in his mouth

_He would not let himself making that dreadful gulping noise again_

_He wouldn’t_

 

“Um..”

 

 **_ahem_ ** **_  
_**  


 

 _That fucking girlish cough again? What the fuck.._ In turn with the cough, he used it as cover to swallow his fear, and his salivia. “Yeah.”  
  
“You’re fine to sit over here ya know man,” Jonathan said keeping a genuine smile on his features, “there’s plenty of room”

 

**_pat pat_ **

 

Jonathan leans over a bit and pats the spot in front of him, “it’s a queen.”

  
  
“U - Uhh..” Sherwin can feel his heartbeat in his ears and his dick again, fucking glad he escaped to the bathroom to adjust his apparently - confused hormone riddled lightswitch of a dick. “N - No I’m good,” he gives Jonathan an awkward smile as he could feel his voice breaking in his ears - **_damn his fucking social awkwardness_ ** . Sherwin pulls out the chair from the desk, sitting down on the plush cushion. He scoots himself back all the way until his back is touching the back of the desk chair, flicking his eyes up to meet Jonathan’s.  
  
Tanned skinned lips smile at him, the brunette flashing Sherwin a smile with those beautiful blue hues directed straight at him. Sherwin did the same as in the doorway, he smiled at Jonathan. He smiled a soft and awkward smile on his pale, freckled splattered face. “I was wondering..” Sherwin asked nervously - yet curiously, “if you were going to be attending any schools around here..?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ideas via time in film - just a PSA  
> 1:26 - close together after Sherwin catches his heart  
> 1:30 jonathans pose & unsure wave at classmate  
> 1:31 - blond / white / brown eyes → male classmate  
> 2:25 - tan / brown hair / yellow flower petal hairtie thing / brown eyes → female classmate  
> 2:25 - tan / brown hair / larger nose (aquiline shape) / brown eyes → male classmate  
> ______________________________________________  
> Not 100% sure on those 3 canon characters names but I'll find them eventually in my ultimate free time  
> if anyone does know their names though - drop their names in the comment section down below & I'll give you credit in the end notes when I introduce them  
> ______________________________________________  
> PS - I will be introducing 4 of my own personal Human OC's for extra drama / conflict  
> 1\. Eric  
> 2\. Seth  
> 3\. Matthew  
> 4\. Liam


	8. Chapter 8

Asking this was hard for Sherwin, mustering up the courage to do so... but, he didn’t want Jonathan to ask after minutes of awkward silence & smiles   
  


  
_ So… yeah? _

_ What is it? _

_ You just gonna sit here in silence…? _

_ Or…? _

_ Is there something you need? _

_ I’m kinda busy… so….  _ **_What?_ **

  
  


That’s how Sherwin saw it going

He saw it & he felt it - felt those unspoken words leaving his mouth & making Sherwin’s aching feeling come back

& with feeling that? He believed it   
Why would he believe it? Because it has happened before   
  


 

So he took the initiative to ask the question before Jonathan could

  
  


“Mhm.” The brunette nodded, hands cupping around his ankles to keep his posture upright. “It’s some.. Prep Academy or something..”

 

_ Eh..? _

Sherwin’s ears almost physically twitched when hearing this -  gaze darting up to look at Jonathan as he spoke

 

“A Prep Academy?” Sherwin asked   
“Do you know the name of it?” a follow up question stated   
  
“Ahh..” Jonathan’s vision flicks up to the ceiling, thinking.

He shakes his head, “nah.. I can’t remember.”

Dark brown brows furrow in more thought, “mom told me she left the brochures downstairs.” He then stands himself up from the bed, “I’ll go get em.”

 

It’s Sherwin’s turn to furrow his brows, “you don’t have to Jonathan I was just - ”   
  
“Nah man,” Jonathan said, stretching his arms up in a stretch, “you’re good.”

 

**_pop!!_ **

**_crack!_ ** **_  
  
_ **

Jonathan’s shoulders cracked and it soon followed with his tanned arms reaching over his head. Fingers extended up and out, extending his arms to the side. One hand cupped at his upper arm - pulling it more to the side as he stretched. Light cracks could be heard as he stretched, repeating this action with the other arm. Seemed he was stretching his arms, shoulders, upper back and sides as he did this.

 

_ God, Sherwin kinda hoped he was into sports.. _

 

“From those two upbeat questions, sounds like you might attend a Prep Academy around here” Jonathan asked, head turning a bit to show Sherwin half of his face - a questioning brow now raising at the redhead. “Am I right?”

 

Sherwin - at a loss for words - nods   
  
“I’ll be right back,” with that - he then exits to go down stairs.   
  
Once Sherwin’s positive that Jonathan was gone - he relaxes in a defeated sigh on the desks chair, fanning himself with his hand for a moment before rubbing his palm roughly around on his jaw.

 

_ He just needed a few moments to himself again _   
_ That’s it & he’d be fine again _ __   
  


 

**_step_ ** **_  
_ ** **_step_ ** **_  
_ ** **_step_ ** **_  
  
_ **

 

Jonathan stepped down from the last three steps of the staircase and itched at the back of his neck. That same palm then rounded itself to cover a yawn in the back of his hand.

  
  


**_step_ **

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

 

Tired blue eyes glanced around the living room, picking up paper here and paper there - seeing if those pamphlets were under them. sigh. Turning at his heel, the brunette went to the kitchen, the pamphlets there.

  
  


“ _ Jackpot _ .”

  
  


Swiping the pamphlets from the kitchen island, he headed back up to his room where Sherwin was waiting for him. step step step. Coming back to his room, Jonathan flashed Sherwin a smile as he saw him sitting at the edge of the bed. The redhead looks up from the floor, smiling at Jonathan - a more genuine smile this time

 

Good, he thought, I like that one more

 

Flashing a smile back at him, the tanned skinned brunette heads over to Sherwin and hands them the pamphlet. Turning at his heel, the male then sits down on the edge of his own bed - about a foot away from the redhead.

 

The pamphlet colors were a blue, white, black and gold color   
At the top it read

  
“  _ NEWGATE PREP ACADEMY _

_ PRIVATE PROPERTY  _

_ CO - ED MIXED _ _   
_ _ FOUNDED JANUARY 11th 1895 ” _

  
  


Sherwin’s heartbeat filled his head and for a moment & he felt kinda dizzy. That aching feeling in his chest was gone and for the first time in a long time.. He felt so happy he could probably cry. For a moment also, he forgot that he pinned his now flaccid dick up against his waistband for protective cover - but now it was starting to annoy & irritate him in this joyous news.   
  
“You look happy,” Jonathan said tapping the front of the brochured information packet, “that your school too?”

 

Sherwin nods, looking over to Jonathan with a smile & for a moment, Sherwin felt no anxiety.   
It was like.. It had flooded out from him - if only just a little - when knowing what he knows now.   
That..Sure.. he made Sherwin’s knees turn to jelly, but that’d go away   
_ Within time, it always does _ _   
_   
_ Just one.. _ He thought, j __ ust one.. And I’m okay with that

 

He smiled, this one the most pure & genuine one out of the others he had shown Jonathan

He was happy

Purely & truly happy - It showed on his face like someone lighting up a dark room   
  
“You’ll show me around,” Jonathan mused curiously, “right?”

 

Sherwin nodded, that big fat smile still plastered on his face as flips through the packet.   
  
“You bet!” he said happily, the complete aura of the redhead changing from shy to energetic   
  
“There are lots of different species of trees, bushes, shrubs and other kind of plants. The campus though is really old, but the campus is just really beautiful.” He looks up from the pamphlet & directs his excited gaze to Jonathan’s own blue hues. “It’s a really big campus too,” he continued, “just.. sitting here trying to explain it doesn’t do it justice.. you  have to see it for yourself.”

 

“Well... my mom was too busy to do the conducted tour with them for me,” he stated, “so maybe we can go to school together and we can talk to them about letting you show me around.. I mean, since we’re neighbors and we apparently go to the same school now.”

 

“Heh,” Jonathan continued, “I’m sure you’ll show me lots of cool things only you know about the campus.” The brunette gives a little chuckle, mostly to himself - but in all seriousness wanting Sherwin to show him around.  _ That’d be kinda cool _ , Jonathan thought,  _ they’d probably let us skip first and maybe second period for that tour..  _ He gives a soft nod to himself,  _ yeah _ , he thought,  _ that’d be pretty cool _ .

 

“So..” Sherwin set the pamphlets down on the the side of him that was free, “still unpacking?”

 

“Kinda.”

 

“Kinda?” he asked, confused.

 

“I read a lot of books and my mom also has a lot of paperback material for her job.. so those boxes were the ultimate last on the list.. so..  kinda done? But not really?”

 

The both of them let out soft chuckles, Sherwin hoping to play his cards right before excusing himself to the bathroom for the final time.

 

“Do you need any help?” the redhead asked

 

Jonathan keeps his attention directed at Sherwin, not minding the constant back and forth of Sherwin’s shy gaze. The guy was definitely apprehensive when looking at him or holding a conversation with him. Jonathan wondered if Sherwin had any friends in real life - seemed like the type of guy who only made friends online.. But even then.. Jonathan wasn’t sure. This told the brunette - by Sherinw’s reluctance - that the kid might have been bullied in the past..   
  
Seeing that smile though spread across Sherwin’s face, it made his chest feel warm

It was a nice feeling that left the brunette feeling good

If anything, he’d love to be Sherwin’s friend & he could see this being the start of a wonderful friendship.

 

“I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you,” Jonathan said, “I mean, I’m not even done cleaning the - ”   
  
“I - It’s not a problem!” Sherwin said with a smile, “really!” that smile then widened, “it’s getting pretty boring around my house anyway - done everything there was to be done this summer so... I don’t mind helping.”   
  
“Gives me something to busy myself with.. But uh..” he cracks one of his famous awkward smiles at Jonathan, “can I use your bathroom again?”   
  
This causes Jonathan to smile, “ _ did you drink a gallon of water before you headed over? _ ” Jonathan mused in a teasing manner   
  
“ _ Heh.. _ ” he feels the apples of his cheeks heating up, “ _ maybe.. _ ”

“ _ The world may never know _ ,” Sherwin says this as he pushes himself up and off the bed. He hears Jonathan calling back to him saying to meet him back down in the living room when he was out of the bathroom. As he heads to the bathroom he can hear Jonathan tidying up in his room and right as he opens the door to the bathroom - he hears Jonathan exit his own room, humming, going down the staircase to the living room.

 

**_flip_ **

**_click_ **

 

Sherwin steps forward to the bathroom counter after locking the door, hands gripping the edge of the counter as he met his reflection.

 

He looks at himself long and hard, the ultimate result being hanging his head down in shame.  _ sigh _ . Propping his elbows up on the counter, he hunches over and pushes his face into his hands. Sometimes...  he can’t even bare to look at his own reflection, hating what he saw and sometimes not being able to look at himself for his own peptalk.   
  
**_in_ **

 

“You’re gonna be ok,” he whispered lowly to himself, “you’re gonna be ok Sherwin, okay?”

 

**_out_ **

 

He rubs the palms of his hands into his face, taking in a large intake of breath before sighing it out in a heavy breath into his own hands.

 

“ _ You’re going to be ok _ ,” he said again, “ _ he’s just a person.. Just like you _ .”   
  
Pulling his face back from his hands, the redhead looks down into the sink as he stands himself straight. Reaching his hands down, he shimmies his hips left and right as he unpins his dick from the waistband and adjusts it to lay back against his lap.

 

_ That feels better _ , he thought with a breath of relief.

 

Flipping the faucet on to the sink, he lets the water get warmish before soaping his hands up & washing them - gaze now directed to his own reflection staring back him in the mirror. “Yeah..” he said to himself, hands wringing around each other to spread the foam soap around, “he’s just like you, just another person.. So there’s.. nothing to be afraid of.” He gives himself a soft, unsure smile directed at himself

  
  


It was.. One that said

_ Sure Sherwin, yeah, you haven’t anything to fear _

_ Yeah _

_ Just keep telling yourself that, that long cry session will come sooner or later _

_ But for now.. Yeah, just keep telling yourself that _

  
  


“He’s different though..” he found himself saying out loud.. Zoning out as he spoke while looking at himself in the mirror.

He frowned at himself in a smiling manner - “It’s easy to forget because of how nervous I get..” he continued with a small shake of his head, “but he’s just a person, just like I am.”

 

He gives himself a small, sad, reassuring smile.   
  
Rinsing his hands from the soap with the warm water running from the sink, once he turned it off, dried his hands and adjusted his clothing. Sherwin gave himself one last long and hard looking in the mirror before saying to himself with his head held high - face in a soft and sad sheet   
  
“ _ Maybe this year.. _ _   
_ _ … things at school with change _ .”

  
“ _ Please _ ,” he bargained, “ _ please..let them change _ .”


	9. Chapter 9

Dark brown brows furrow in thought, the brunette feeling bad in saying okay to letting Sherwin help him.

 

Sure,

The redhead offered to help & told Jonathan that he really didn’t mind helping

 

But… the guy still felt bad

 

Lots of things crossed his mind -

 

“Hey Jonathan,” Sherwin asked from Behind him

 

“Hmm?” The tall tanned skinned brunette turned - directing his gaze down to Sherwin

 

“Yeah man?”

 

“I finished cleaning those two bookshelves in the living room,” he said, “then I cleaned the rabbit book stand holders.. Where should I put them?”

 

“You can push the flat pieces of the rabbits against each other”

 

“Mhm”

 

“Then you can put them in the middle, of the middle shelf.”

 

“Ok.”

 

 _Oh darn.._ He thought, _where was I…?_

_…_

_Ah, yes - there_

 

Lots of things crossed his mind.. Like,

 

..Asking Sherwin multiple times if helping him was actually okay when meeting him back down the steps

..Being reassured by the redhead that he didn’t mind helping - assuring Jonathan more than once on this

..Feeling bad in having Sherwin help - but liking the time spent with someone else while cleaning… unlike he normally would

 

Thought after thought crossed his mind, mindlessly cleaning the same spot on the island as Sherwin came over once again to ask him something.

 

“Hey Jonathan?”

 

**_blink_ **

 

**_blink_ **

 

“Hmm?” snapping out of his daydreaming thoughts, blue eyes directed their gaze to Sherwin, “yeah?”

 

“I’m done.”

 

**_blink_ **

 

**_blink_ **

 

“You are?” he mused, cursorily.

 

Sherwin nods, smiling at Jonathan as he spoke. “I wiped down everything you pointed out to me and I even did the windows.”

 

“ _You.. did?_ ” Jonathan asked, head tilting a bit - like a big dog hearing a noise he was unsure in. Completely baffled, Jonathan wondered just how long he was stuck in that thought process.

 

“Mhm,” Sherwin kept his smile - feeling proud in helping as he gave the brunette a nod.

 

“I came in to get the glass cleaner you left on the edge of the island.” The redhead sets the bottle down where it was before, Jonathan actually forgetting that he set the cleaning bottle over there - in order to grab the multisurface cleaner one.

 

“You were really focused on that spot when I came in to grab it,” Sherwin said, “I didn’t want to disturb you.. but I’m just curious,” he continued, “is that a tough spot to get clean?”

 

A light pink dusted on Jonathan’s cheeks out of embarrassment, when first starting to think on the redhead helping him.. the  brunette remembered that he had done the downstairs bathroom first. He then moved back to the patio & swept the floor, the deck, and rearranged a few bulky items. After coming in from the patio, the back of Jonathan’s hand came up to wipe sweat from his forehead and his brow. He walked into the kitchen and began to do the few dishes that were in the sink, moving to then wipe down the counters.

 

It wasn’t until he was cleaning the island, when he lost himself in thought

 

That pink on Jonathan’s cheeks darkened a smidge, no way was he going to let Sherwin know that he was zoning out with those selfish kindof thoughts.

 

“It was kind of tough,” he said, “but I got it.”

 

The brunette turns and flashes a smile at Sherwin, “the kitchen was the last thing down here anyway.” Jonathan takes the multi-surface cleaner and heads over to get a roll of paper towels.

 

“Hey,” Jonathan asks, “Can you grab the glass cleaner?”

 

“Mhm.”

 

“We can do the bathroom together and then you can wait in my room.”

“Wait in your room after we do the upstairs bathroom?” Sherwin questioned.

 

“Mhm.”

 

“Why?” he asked, curiously.

 

“Because I’ll be heading back downstairs,” Jonathan said beckoning Sherwin up the steps, “to grab the tile floor steam cleaner.”

 

“To clean the floors?” Sherwin asked, feeling like an ultra ditz right after asking this.

 

 _Duh.._ Sherwin thought to himself, _he just said exactly what it was he’s gonna clean the floor with_

The redhead wanted to knock some sense into his head with a little _boop_ from his fist

 _Duh Sherwin_ , he thought over and over again, _duh!_

 

“Mhm.”

 

The redhead smiled a soft smile - glad Jonathan didn’t comment on the dumb question Sherwin should have gotten the first time. “Shouldn’t take me long,” he said, “but the last room I’m gonna do is my own - once the outside is dried.”

 

“Okie Dokie.”

 

Sherwin’s eyes widen a bit and he feels himself stop on the steps - if only for a moment. Cheeks heated up when that OK left his mouth - ready to correct himself from the everlasting social awkwardness & ready to apologize when questioned on it.

 

Of course when that - “ _Artichokie_ ” reply left Jonathan’s mouth in response to his own OK, his cheeks deepened in color.

 

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

 

He had to keep moving after Jonathan, had to - or else he’d turn to question why the redhead had stopped.

 

 _Go_ d, Sherwin thought, _he is sure different from any other person I’ve interacted with_

 

A small smile soon widened on that pale, freckle splattered face & the two shared a lighthearted chuckle when at the top of the stairs.

 

“First time someone's ever said that in response to my Okie Dokie,” Sherwin said with a light chuckle - ready to use cleaning as an excuse for his red tinted cheeks if questioned.

 

“First time for everything,” Jonathan replied, “I suppose.”

The two share another small laugh together before stepping foot in the upstairs bathroom.

 

Jonathan enters first & asks Sherwin what he would be willing to do, not do, and wipe clean.

 

“I’ll do whatever you want me to do,” the redhead said with a smile, “I don’t mind helping in whatever you need my assistance with.”

 

The brunette flashes Sherwin a soft, warm hearted smile - thanking him.

 

“I - It’s no problem!” the orangish brown freckle drenched male said, “really! I..I like to help.”

Sherwin internally curses at himself when he stutters, aiming to keep his eyes on Jonathan’s as he spoke.

 

“I - It..”

 

_Fucking damnit…_

 

Sherwin’s brown eyes dart down and away from Jonathan as he speaks.

 

_So much for that_

 

**_sigh_ **

 

“It passes the time when there’s nothing else for me to do.”

 

He forces his head up to look at brunette, eyes flicking back up to Jonathan. The redhead flashes him an awkward smile, but genuine in the words he spoke.

 

Sherwin gives Jonathan a reassuring few quick nods - the brunette giving the shorter male a nod of his own.


	10. Chapter 10

 

Jonathan beckonds Sherwin into the bathroom, telling the redhead that he’ll be cleaning the bathtub, the shower, the toilet, and then helping Sherwin organize some of the stuff that’ll need to be in the drawers.

 

“What will I be doing?” Sherwin questioned.

 

“You’ll be wiping down the mirror, the bathroom counter, the sink, and those shelving up there.”

 

Jonathan motions the hand holding the paper towels up, gesturing to the shelving up on the wall - the one that Sherwin knew had books on them.

 

He looks anyway, nodding.

 

Brown orbs come back to land on Jonathan’s own baby blue hues.

The apples of his cheeks rise as he smiles, that proud feeling coming back as he sees Jonathan set down the paper towel roll on the bathroom counter. After hearing the spray of the multi-surface cleaner from Jonathan, he then was handed the bottle by Jonathan after turning around.

 

A few times, Sherwin would turn back to grab a paper towel - but he’d catch Jonathan getting one at the same time.

 

The brunette would flash a quick small, smile at him - Sherwin flashing an awkward one back.

 

It wasn’t long until Sherwin was on the counter portion of the bathroom. Having to stand on his tiptoes to reach the top of the mirror - deciding to do that first. Asking Jonathan to reach at the very, very top nearly killed him - not wanting to disrupt his own work.

 

It was Jonathan who had asked if he needed the help, asking this when now cleaning the toilet.

  
“Do you need help?” he asked

 

Sherwin opened his mouth to answer, but thinking on how to word his request

 _I should have thought on how to properly ask him.._ he thought to himself

 

It was written all over the redheads face, and Jonathan could see it as plain as day.

  
The guy had problems asking questions, probably due to the whole.. Socially awkward vibe he felt from Sherwin

 

Blue eyes flick from Sherwin to what he was doing

“I need help with.. The.. um..” It’s Sherwin’s turn to cock his head to the side - more evident in motion as red hair bounced along with him. “Um..” As he tries to think, the loss for words is killing him and his cheeks start to deepen in color from embarrassment.

 

If he was at school - he could just hear all his peers laughing at him, how he hated his public speaking course last semester.

 

“Do you need help with the mirror?” Jonathan asks, standing.

 

Watching Jonathan stand, it started to sit in just how tall the brunette actually was. From watching him crouch, to stand, to bend washing his hands, stand straight, and then stand with minimal arm stretching effort? It really started to sit in.

 

He felt like a shrimp

 

Pale skin with darker pigmentation of specks on him.

 

Short, small and to top of it all off? A good ol’ Red dollop poof of hair.

 

Watching Jonathan’s arm move and flex as he cleaned made his eyes avert to the tanned males reflection. _I’m not staring at Jonathan_ , he tired to assure himself, _I’m just watching his reflection.._

 

Seeing Jonathan’s head turn to look at him, the redhead pushed his gaze from the reflection of Jonathan, to the actual being.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“No problem.”

 

“...Sorry about that..”

 

“It’s okay, no need to apologize,” Jonathan said, “if anything..” he gives Sherwin’s head a small pat, “I should be the one apologizing.”

 

“Why?”

 

He pulls his hand back and goes back to cleaning, this time, cleaning the sink as he spoke. “I guess.. I just feel kinda bad having you help me clean.”

 

“Bad?” Sherwin asks, “how so?”

 

“Bad I guess.. In a selfish kindof way,” Jonathan says with a little shoulder shrug.

 

“Selfish? I don’t really understand.”

 

“You’re okay,” the brunette says now cleaning the faucet, “it’s more or less like..” he has to pull back and think for a few moments.

 

**_sigh_ **

 

Jonathan lets out a sigh and this makes Sherwin think - he might have struck a nerve.

 

“I have this selfish feeling because I like having you around to talk to.”

 

_Huh?_

 

“The fact that you want to help me clean kinda stunned me for a bit, but..” he turns his head to look at the redhead.

 

“Even though you say you don’t mind and enjoy the time passing,” he smiles at Sherwin, “I enjoy cleaning and passing the time with you.”

 

“You feel selfish because of that?” Sherwin questions.

 

“It’s like a fifty, fifty.” The brunette gives another unsure shoulder shrug as he couches to get some of the things they need to organize from under the sink. Standing, he has Sherwin open the drawers and answers to where each thing goes when asked.

 

“It’s because I’ve just..” Jonathan’s face goes a little soft in expression, “always been moved around and it was usually the cleaning lady who cleaned the majority of rooms we stayed in.”

 

“Cleaning lady?” the redhead asked.

 

“Mhm,” Jonathan nodded, “because my mom was pretty much on the move, practically twenty four seven, we mostly just stayed in hotels.”

 

 

Sherwin wished he could find the words to console Jonathan, to tell him.. at least something..

But nothing came to mind, nothing except how shitty he was in this situation

 

 

“Um..” the redhead tried to gather his thoughts, his wording - for how he was going to address his question.

 

“So..” he tears one of the paper towels from the roll, scooting a bit closer to Jonathan - just so he bend at the hip and clean the small part of the counter in front of the sink - aiming to clean more his way before switching to clean on the brunettes side. “This is the first time that you and your mom have settled down?” he questioned.

 

“Mhm,” Jonathan replies, “in a long while.”

 

"Can I ask how long?"

 

"Left in fifth, started in sixth.. so finishing up the last two years I'd say a good five years."

 

“..W.. Wow..”

Sherwin wished he could have said something more consoling other than what he just said.

 

“So having a place and a room to call my own,” Jonathan chuckles a bit at this to himself, “it’s a weird feeling.."

"Kinda like.." he pauses for a moment

"I’m dreaming and..” he stops organizing and looks at his reflection in the mirror, “I’ll wake up any minute and see that this isn’t actually real.”

 

"Well.." Sherwin looks up at the brunette, who catches this action and looks down to catch those honey brown orbs

 

 _His eyes are beautiful.._ the tanned skinned male thought, _what a unique shade of brown_

_like... honey_

 

"I can tell you that if this was a dream.." the redhead tries and gathers the rest of his words, "I wouldn't want to wake up either."

 

Jonathan furrows his brows, obviously confused.

 

 _Fuck_ , he thought, _why the **fuck** did I say it like that?_

 

"I'm.. not quite sure what you mean Sherwin," Jonathan questions, "can you elaborate for me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys it's mizuie  
> Now being at CH 10 I would like to let you guys know that due to financial reasons & my job I will not be online updating  
> I have NO idea how long I will be gone but it looks like I may not be able to update for a while  
> Things aren't going well for me  
> Life is throwing a lot of unwanted bullshit my way & I need to deal with that
> 
> With my job practically fucking me - I need to look for a new one while also updating Commission stuff for my Art
> 
> Sorry in advance - but aye - Gotta adapt to these other things in order for me to NOT be on the street
> 
> Thx to everyone who has read my work & will be awaiting CH 11 in PT 2 of When the Stars Align
> 
>  
> 
> thanks to everyone who checks out this fic & all the supportive comments I've gotton  
> I love each & every one of you
> 
> til next time  
> I bid everyone adieu  
> ♡  
>  
> 
> xoxo  
> \- mizuie  
> 4/9/18


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In celebration for my new job I am pleased to announce that When the Stars Align is back on track in updating!
> 
> Please enjoy the next two Chapters - 11 & 12  
> \- posted on 5/22/18
> 
> Chapter 13 is in the midst and will contain some much needed smol redhead consoling  
> Jonathan isn't another pretty face just out to make you feel terrible Sherwin, I can assure you that ; v ;
> 
> NOTE:  
> Though what I went through was NOT fun  
> I did pull a lot of inspiration from the bullshit I've been thru (still sadly going thru) & took note of it so that I may incorporate it in later chapters (college / apt life among the two)
> 
> Please also note that this fic is most likely going to be over 60+ chapters  
> so in advance,  
> thanks for putting up with my constant on & off updating
> 
> life isn't fun ppl  
> but gosh darn it - if it needs to be put on hold so I can have a roof over my head, food in mah belly & internet so I can post this when the chapters are all finished  
> & when I come back from that hiatus along with irl inspo for the fic?  
> so be it!
> 
> thanks again for everyone new & old for reading the fic & I shall see you guys soon~!!  
> ♡ ♡ ♡

“Hey,” Jonathan asked, “Sherwin.”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Mind if I ask a question..?”

  
  
“ I apologize for my … ”

“ but I guess I still don’t really understand … ”

 

“ not wanting to wake up from dreaming … ”

“ could you go a little more into it … ”

 

_That question threw him off guard, fading in and out from it, how the hell was he supposed to answer this..?_

 

 

–   _An hour & a half earlier _ –

 

  
Sitting Indian-style on the couch, the redhead hung out with Jonathan waiting for the pizza. Somewhere along their conversation, the redhead wished that he could learn to just keep his mouth shut.

 

If it was possible, Sherwin would have slowly inched himself over to Jonathan as they chatted. It was _possible_ to say the least, but with how the pale freckled kid was – it was working up the _courage_ to do so that had him frozen in his tracks.

 

 _Like a deer in a headlight_ , Jonathan thought with his own internalization of the guy.

 _I wonder why he can’t just relax around me_ , the brunette wondered.

  
  
Sherwin’s breathing, he felt like, would give himself away.

  
The redhead hated how his voice sounded, hated speaking and most of that hatred is toward the lovely time of budding hormones – _oh how he wished if it was some kindof being, he would deck it straight in its’ nasty little face_.  


  
****_The joys of Choir in Middle School_  
The joys of relentless various teasing on top of it  
  


How he hated School – but for College to happen…

Twelve miserable years to look back and cringe on is what he’d have to go through.  
To cringe on while he was in high school and when he would be out of it.

 

Those key phrases are ;; While he was & When he would

_Was_

&

_When_

 

This is the _now_

Now he’s in High School – and oh how he wants it to be over with, _now_.

 

Soon enough, Sherwin eventually worked up the courage to scoot an inch over, at least an inch.

 

His fingernails lightly scratched at the sofas interior and internally started to count to three.

 

_One…_

_Two…_

_Thr –_

 

Sherwin froze in his action, fingers digging a bit into the sofa as he clenches his jaw. Three rapid knocks happened at the front, Jonathan hopping up and striding his way over to the front entrance. Opening it, Jonathan exchanged twenty five dollars for a large pizza box, thanked the man – who responded with an upward jolt of a head tilt, acknowledging his thanks.

 

Jonathan closed the door with his foot and headed back over to Sherwin, seemed that Jonathan liked the idea that the redhead brought up. It was when they were taking a break and chatting before mopping the floor. The original idea was to do the bathroom, wait in his room, Jonathan mopping the floor until he’d reach his room and then hang for a bit there.

 

But when the brunette’s stomach could evidently be heard growling, Sherwin thought the color on the brunette’s cheeks to be well suited

 

The plan now went, bathroom, ordering a pizza, getting that pizza, waiting in the brunette’s room with said pizza as he mopped the floor, coming back to his room and doing a movie with Sherwin while eating said pizza.

 

Of course he couldn’t escape the question Jonathan had asked him, so he responded with…

 

“ _I um.._ ” he reminisced about the conversation in the bathroom that occurred not too long ago. “ _I just meant that, if this was a dream I’d like to keep dreaming.. to ..not wake up_.”

 

The look on Jonathan’s face pictured itself in Sherwin’s head and when he was alone – he already knew he would get inside his own head, more than he’d like himself to.

  
To relive that image of uncertainty, that eye squint, the raised furrowed brow at not understanding – the way Sherwin’s mind warped it to the look of pure disgust when being lied to by classmates that he liked other guys.

  
  
_That’s not true!_ He could see himself saying out of instant panic  
He could also see himself trying to picture what he would say in that situation, since he knew it would be only a matter of time until Jonathan would meet Seth, Eric, and those other two he dreaded to see on campus.  
  
  
Jonathan didn’t look like that type, the type to judge.. I mean hey, he was sitting here, talking to Sherwin, laughing and smiling with him. Having lunch with him, twice now! He didn’t seem like that type of guy, he really didn’t… but assuming could always lead to getting bit by the snake in the grass that you thought wasn’t poisonous.

 

**It’ll hurt, he knows it will.. but…**

 

 _It’s better if it comes from me_ , the redhead thought, _and not someone else… someone who will.. fill his head with lies.._ Sherwin shakes his head.. _straight up lies_.

 

“Oh..?” that deep voice said, “do you not wanna go back up to my room?”

 

_Eh..?_

 

Sherwin opens his eyes and flicks his gaze up to look under his lashes at the brunette towering over him. “Wait.. um..”

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

He can feel his cheeks flooding a red color – not pink – _red_.

 

“Can you repeat the question.” Sherwin blinks twice, slowly, but twice – glad he didn’t stutter, he just might have let out an audible gulp if he did.

 

“I asked if you wanted to head back up to my room, and you shook your head back and forth.. so is that a no?”  
  
“No I – uh..” Sherwin blinks again, losing his train of thought as he pushed his gaze down and away from Jonathan’s.

 

 _God damn it.._ he cursed to himself, _get it together man!_

 

“It’s not that.. I just..” with his right hand he picked his thumb nail under his middle one out of nervousness – “I just.. zoned out.. and was thinking to myself.” The redhead’s cheeks felt like they were radiating with heat, wanting to disappear as his middle nail now dug into the pad of his thumb, “ _I do that sometimes_.”

 

“Oh, okay.” The brunette asks if Sherwin still wants to go back to his room, and the light bounce of softly curled tips on a fluffy head of red hair left that smile on his face. He wondered why Sherwin didn’t say yes, but didn’t look too much into it – the guy was just shy, he sure seemed like it in his book.

 

“You’re fine man,” Jonathan said to Sherwin with reassurance, “Don’t worry about it.”


	12. Chapter 12

_Easier said than done_ , Sherwin thought.

 

Jonathan led the redhead up the steps and back to his room, he set the pizza box down on the bed and turned to Sherwin, telling him that he’d be back. “Do you think..” Sherwin started out, “you’re gonna take long?” he asked, directing that curiosity to Jonathan.

 

The brunette shook his head, “Nah.”

 

“Where I need to mop, it’s not gonna take too long.”

 

Jonathan then casts his gaze upward towards the ceiling. He made an L shape with his index finger and thumb, putting that L to the bottom of his chin to rub at his jaw.

 

 _He has a nice jawline_ , Sherwin thought to himself, _nice, angled, and well sculpted…_

 

“I probably need at least..” those tanned fingers rubbed lightly against his own jaw, “ _Mm_..”  
His eyes squint a bit in thought, “seven to.. ten minutes?” the brunette then nods to conform his thought.

 

“Think you can hold out til then?”

 

Sherwin nods, “Okay.”

 

“Rad,” Jonathan replies, flashing the freckle splattered guy a smile. He now heads over to the nightstand by the bed and grabbed the remote from the top of it. Plopping down on the edge of the bed, the brunette turns it on and waits for the home screen to buffer. While waiting on the main screen to load, he starts to speak.  
  
“We have both Hulu and Netflix,” Jonathan said, “You can look through both of them and find something to watch while I’m doing my thing.” He continues to speak, “but if you also happen to find something you’d like to show me, you can.”

 

Jonathan now hands the remote to Sherwin, handing it to him end first so when handled – it would be right side up.

 

“Just make note of it,” he says keeping eye contact with the redhead, “and let me know what it was when I come back.”

 

He smiles at Sherwin head on, “I like a various selection to choose from to be honest, but no worries.” The brunette stands and gives Sherwin a small, quick wave. “I’ll be back in a bit,” he says, “see yah.”

 

Jonathan turns at the ball of his heel and exits his room, heading to the kitchen.

 

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

 

 _I’m kinda tired_.. Jonathan thinks, following this thought with stopping on the staircase to yawn.

 

He lets out an audible yawn, deciphering whether or not if he should make some coffee and bring it back up to his room before starting to mop. The brunette shakes his head, _nah_ , he thinks, _that has multiple steps within itself.. and I don’t want to have to do that right now_.

The brunette continues down the stairs, his journey leading him into the kitchen, only to venture past it.  Jonathan passes the granite tiled island, heading to swing around the corner to a short hallway with a white door and a golden knob.  
  
The door that Jonathan stepped into was the laundry room, a nice and spacious room that also led to the back fenced in yard. The laundry room had a washer, dryer, two overhang cabinets, adjustable exposed shelving racks, and a hanging rack that held what Jonathan needed.

 

It was one of those foot long bars with grooves in them to hold a broom, or in his case – a Shark Steam pocket mop.

 

The brunette grabbed what he needed and did the prep work that he needed to do. He prepped not only for the Shark – but also for the places he also needed to mop. It took a little more than seven to ten minutes, took more around twenty.  
  
_Note to self_ , Jonathan thought heading back up the steps, _do prep work before_

 

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

**_step_ **

 

 _Not during_  
  
The brunette stops at the top of the staircase and throws his arms up in a stretch.

 

_pop!!_

_pop!!_

 

He then rolls his shoulders and proceeds to his room, knocking on the side of the partially closed door. “Aye man,” Jonathan says, “I’m back.”

 

Sherwin fumbles to pause the show he was watching, doing so after making a few unsure worry noises.

 

 _Ah_ , _Nnn_ , _Yee_ , and _Uwahh_ are what they mostly sounded like.

 

Hearing this, Jonathan couldn’t help but chuckle. The tanned skinned man pushes the door open, he lets himself in before leaving the bedroom door where it was originally cracked.

 

“Sorry,” Jonathan said, “I didn’t mean to laugh.” The smile still stays on his face, trying to almost physically wipe the grin from his lips. “I’ve just never heard someone voice something like that while trying to pause something.”  
  
Sherwin successfully paused the show he was watching, only 10 seconds from the credits rolling anyway. He turns to look at the brunette, hearing him chuckle, the feeling of the bed slightly moving, and then turning his head to see a smiling Jonathan.

 

“Uh..” Sherwin could feel Jonathan laughing at him, but not _at_ him… more

“Heh..”

“heh, heh,” more _with_ him, “heh heh.. yeah.”  
  
Sherwin’s own features break out in a smile, his one cheek awkwardly rising.. but the second one following soon after into a more genuine smile.  
  
_Now all I have to do_ , Sherwin thought in his awkward smiling thoughts, _is to not fuck anything else up_.


	13. Chapter 13

–   _c u r r e n t_  –

 

“Whatcha watchin?” The tanned brunette mused, asking this once their shared laughter died down.

 

“Oh.”

 

Sherwin handed him the remote back, “it was an old cartoon I found on Hulu.” Jonathan looked to the tv screen as he lounged back on his bed, one leg crossed under himself as the other casually hung over.

 

“Animaniacs,” the soothing deep toned voice said with a nod, “that was a good show.”

 

Jonathan can see that it’s nearing the ending credits, the screen change on the old cartoon being an analog version that cuts from the last frame. With the yellow cartoon tower fading out, a very light translucent color, to show the AMBLIN piece. It was a piece that Jonathan caught every so often in ending transition.

 

_The very last frame that was the joy of those 90s cartoons his mother showed him._

_She had a box of them_

_It was interesting to say the least, nostalgia for her & even a light nostalgia feeling for him as well_

 

 

Though the ending credits were great to watch, Sherwin had already gone through most of them, so Jonathan ended up backing out of the show and to the main menu.

 

This was fine with the redhead, no complaints from him.

 

Those blue eyes flicked over to meet Sherwin’s own brown ones, “Cartoon logic,” he says, “am I right?” Jonathan then flashes the pale kid another smile, aiming to make him laugh.

 

“ _Pfft!!_ ”

 

Achieving this made the brunette’s smile widen, enjoying the feeling of joking with another person he was getting along with. With few and very rare actual friend interactions, it was hard to stay & make friends.

 

_To get to know, as a person_

_To joke with them_

 

_To know them better & for Jonathan, he wanted to be Sherwin’s friend_

Sherwin laughs, nodding right afterwards, “mhm.” His own smile spreads on that orangish brown freckled face, opening his mouth to speak – only to hear Jonathan’s stomach growl.  


“Hungry?” the redhead asks, that awkward smile always seeming to teeter between genuine and unsure

 

_Like.. he was on edge, on guard  -even about relaxing_

_As if he couldn’t_

 

Those tanned cheeks dusted a pinkish color when his stomach growled, trying to play it off with a light chuckle and admitting a small nod. “Sorry to keep you waiting,” Jonathan said in an apology, scanning through the selection on Hulu, “took longer than expected.”

 

He flipped the pizza box back, keeping it open. Blue hues flicking down to the pizza, he reached his free hand over to grab one and bite into it. “So,” Jonathan said swallowing the piece he bit, “did you find anything you wanted to show me?”

 

Sherwin shook his head, “I really wasn’t sure what you liked,” he admitted with a shrug, “so I didn’t.”

 

Almost automatically, Sherwin’s demeanor dropped, gaze shooting down to the plush comforter of Jonathan’s bed. The redhead tried to play it off in his own way.. but he did try his hardest to hide his gaze away from the brunette.

 

It wasn’t that Sherwin didn’t want to show him anything he thought of  
There was plenty that Sherwin could name off the top of his head

He even had a dumb masterlist that he kept of movies and shows he really liked, not to mention other types – like these 90s cartoons

 

Whether on Hulu or Netflix, he really wasn’t sure what Jonathan liked

What he didn’t like

What things he’d want to stay away from

_Etc Etc Etc_

 

Sherwin was a guy just full of bottled questions  
Bottled conversations he wanted to have  
Lots and lots of things

  
but..

  
Something simple for someone else – might be difficult for him

 

_Thanks Anxiey_

 

For this reason, especially for the upcoming semester, he knew he was going to have a problem asking questions in class

 

He hated the eyes of his peers on him

It made him want to burst into tears

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

 

With all the books in his room, the brunette might not like some of the movies, since with every movie – there is most likely a book that was before the movie.

 

 _Movies are great_ , Sherwin thought, _but I just don’t know what he’d like.. or what he’d prefer.._

 

 

“ _Sorry.._ ”

 

 

Jonathan had exited out of Hulu, waiting for the Netflix logo to buffer as he took his second bite of the slice. Those blue orbs looked over to the redhead, the pizza hanging from his mouth as he tore the piece from it.

 

 

**_chew_ **

**_chew_ **

 

 

Jonathan quickly swallowed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and cocking his head to the side. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Sherwin.”  
  
_. . . ?_  
  
The brunette arched a darker shaded brow at the redhead, unsure with his reasoning for apologizing.

 

“I.. just.. wasn’t sure.”

 

After a Jonathan flashes Sherwin a soft, reassuring smile.

“You’re fine,” he says, “no worries.”

 

Sherwin looks over to Jonathan, honey brown hues flicking up under long orangish brown lashes.  


_Even sitting down,_ Sherwin thinks, _there is a noticeable height difference between us_

 

 

_. . ._

 

 

 _That wouldn’t be good for a fight_ , he thought, _if he really wanted to.._

 

Sherwin didn’t wasn’t to finish that thought, not wanting to think of Jonathan in a negative way

 

 ** _He’s different_** , a reassuring voice told him – trying to drown out the ones yelling the rest of that original thought ;; _he could kick your fucking ass!!_

 

Sherwin flashes the brunette a smile, “thanks.”

 

 _Just one.._ Sherwin thinks with a smile, _that’s all I ask_

 

 _He’s different_ , those brown hues look up to pale blue ones

Sherwin’s heart is racing, _I can feel it_.

 

 

The redhead grips the comforter to Jonathan’s bed, short nails digging into the fabric to help ease his anxiety.

 

_But.. I’ve been wrong before.._

 

 _Please.._ Sherwin thinks desperately

 

Jonathan’s smile is still there, “no problem man,” still going strong

 

_God, I hope I’m right_

 

 

The tanned brunette pushed himself back against the headboard, laying against the pillows he propped up for his back. With both legs now bent up towards himself, he takes another bite of his pizza, flipping through Netflix.

 

Sherwin grabs his own slice and scoots himself back to lounge against the pillow cushioned headboard – just like Jonathan was.

 

He looks down at the pizza, it wasn’t as hot as before – but that was okay with him. Sherwin nods a bit to himself, taking a small bite from the end of the pizza and chewing it slowly.

 

Him and Jonathan talk for a bit on movies via Hulu and Netflix, chatting here and there about various genres, titles and then doing the same via tv shows – soon enough, the two settled on watching Parks and Recreation.

 

As it plays, the beginning shot opens with Leslie holding up a manila folder. The curiosity within Jonathan nags at him to the point where he’s only thinking on how to word the question he wants to ask – and not the show in front of them.

 

The thing that Sherwin said in the bathroom to his original question.. he just, didn’t quite get it…  
  
About 3 minutes in, he decides to ask the question – the brunette ends up rewinding to the beginning screen, pausing it.

 

Jonathan licks his lips, swallowing the cheesy piece he bit off – halfway done with his own first slice

 

“Mind if I ask you a question before we watch this?” the brunette asked, “I.. I do apologize for my questions,” he says turning his head to look at Sherwin.  
  
“But I guess I still don’t really understand what you meant with not wanting to wake up from dreaming.. if you could go a little more into it, I’d definitely appreciate it.”

 

 

. . .  
  
**_blink_**

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

 

. . .

 

 **** _g u l p  
  
_. . .

 

 

 _There was no way he could get out of this one_  
  


_Even if it was.. how could he?_  
  
  
In that moment – Sherwin wished that his hand would have been the one on the remote, pressing play and pulling a ‘whoops-thumb-slipped-sorry-about-that!’  
  
If he could have achived that, it probably could have covered a very anxiety ridden nervous laugh. He could have rolled his eyes  & wave off his sorries – before trying to come up with a better excuse that that might cover how nervous he actually was.

 

But in this moment – he knew that he couldn’t avoid it

  
The redhead looks blankly down at the pizza that he’s holding in his hands when asked that question. The cheese is gooey, the temperature is just right and overall, the smell of yummy pizza would normally make his mouth water. He loved takeout.. but he didn’t really have an appetite with the brain fog he was feeling.


	14. Chapter 14

The pale hands shakily set the slice back down on the box – his appetite leaving his body and the sight of the pizza repulsing him.

 

 _I’m not dealing with this too well.._ he thought to himself, **_fuck_**

 

 

“It’s uh.. a little more complicated than that..” he could feel his voice breaking. Bottom lip wiggling, “.. _and_..” he takes in a breath through his nose letting it out through his mouth, “and.. I - I’m sorry.”

 

For this reason he quickly wiped his hands on his shirt, pulling both hands up to his face and hunched himself over – pushing his hidden face to his bent knees. He pressed his knees against himself, not only did the redhead want to disappear... but this was exactly why he should have kept his big fucking mouth shut back in the bathroom

 

_How he hated the eyes_

_The eyes of the people staring at him  
Surely.. Surely they were speaking badly of him_

_..and he didn’t want Jonathan to be apart of that.._

 

_He couldn’t look at the brunette_

_He wouldn’t.._

_He wouldn’t.. because he knew that if he were to open his eyes, the redhead would be facing reality – and he wasn’t going to do that_

 

The fear he felt from his anxiety had him planted. Almost as if, Reality and Life were ready to gut punch him when he’d open his eyes.

 

_Jonathan would leave.._

_Just like the rest_

 

Sherwin kept his eyes closed, rubbing at his face with both hands. He rubbed them in a rough manner now – pulling the sleeves of his shirt over his freckled hands to replace his palms with it.

 

 

**_sniffle_ **

**_sniffle_ **

 

 

“ _I’m sorry.. I just.._ ” he pushes his head to the side, his vision averting away from the brunette. He did this, to somehow get the feeling that Jonathan wasn’t actually right next to him. Sherwin couldn’t admit it if he were looking anywhere near Jonathan “If this was a dream,” he says smiling sadly, “I wouldn’t wanna wake up, _ever_.”

 

 

**_sniffle_ **

 

 

Tears well in his eyes as he tries to gather his wording, “ _You’re so nice to me Jonathan.._ ” His brow crinkles and he pushes his face back into his sleeved covered hands. The redhead closes his eyes and the tears fall over those round apple like cheeks, “ _and I’m not used to that kindof kindness_.”

 

Seeing this alarmed Jonathan, “Uh..” the guy wasn’t really sure how to console Sherwin.. or anyone for that matter, really. Never having any real life experiences with something like this.. _I don’t know.._ the brunette thought, _I.. uh..  
_  
In the end, Jonathan just decided to wing it. Tanned features contort with his brow furrowed in confusion, lips thinning out of worry as he wonders if he should reach his hand out to the redhead. “ _Um.._ ”

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

Wasn’t every day when someone he didn’t really know all too well came over and cried in his room. It was a weird feeling..  but.. now he was even more confused.

 

The way the redhead spoke made Jonathan keep his mouth shut.. _he may also.. just need to vent. So he kept quiet._

 

“It’s very rare when I make friends and they stay.. there are always..” he inhales and thinks of both the horrid times at school and encounters online that always ended badly.

 

“There are _always_ aspects that keep them from staying.” Sherwin tries to take another calming breath

 

**_Inhale_ **

 

_. . ._

 

**_Exhale_ **

 

_. . ._

 

His words then began to be spoken out in shaky breaths. “Whether it be online or face to face, whenever I make a friend..” he began, “they leave.”  
  
For one reason, and one reason only...  
  
Sherwin tries to calm his breathing as he continues to speak, “so I don’t make friends that easily.. especially someone I can talk to and relax around.”

 

**_That was sort of a lie in itself_ **

 

 _He was relaxed, but as perusual , Sherwin was always on edge with a simple comment that could make him get inside his own head_  
  
Something he didn’t want - but couldn’t help  
He hated how his head worked

 

Sherwin was an easy target, even _he_ knew that – and being Seth’s favorite victim since the guy transferred in, he wasn’t really sure if it was ever gonna stop..  
  
Sometimes it got so bad, he wondered if it would be better to just end it all..

 

It stuck with him, it always would.. and he’d do anything to keep that from happening with Jonathan.  
  
He’d probably get tired of the rumors and leave as soon as he got the chance.. Sherwin thought sadly

 

_He wanted to relax around him_

_To trust Jonathan in being his friend & letting the redhead be his in return_

 

_But. . ._

 

He felt like he was gonna cry, _hell_ , apparently he was crying… _when did he start..?_

 

 _They just keep falling_ , Sherwin thought through a frustrated breath

 

_I’m just so weak. . ._

 

His heart ached at the feeling of wanting to get close to Jon, knowing that if he did... there’d be problems.

 

Sherwin would get to know him, building that crush up & up to the point  – it would get harder & harder to keep himself away, to hide his actual feelings, and to say goodbye

 

He didn’t really know what to do

But for now, those feelings – they were gonna have to be pushed down & to the side until he could find time to sort them out

 

 

“I like talking with people,” he says, “I can start a conversation over text with a little more comfort than in front of someone.”

 

. . .

 

“I can never find..” _pause_ “the right words though for a conversation though..”

. . .

  
**_pause_**

 

“I’m not good at speaking.”

 

  
**_pause_**  
  
  
“I like keeping myself busy doing things,” the redhead continues, “because if I don’t.. I’m alone with my thoughts, and I don’t work like other people do. I want to be social.. but it’s hard for me.” Sherwin gives a shrug, his demeanor forming back into that sad droop. _How he wished he could disappear_.

 

“Online isn’t pretty either.” he gives a quick waving gesturing out in front of himself, “I might type something in one way but they read it and take it the other way, but not the way I intended them to take it.. I can’t help it, I - ”

 

Jonathan nods, “I understand, since how something like text can be voiced in different tones.”

 

  
“. . .”

“. . .”

 

**_blink_ **

**_blink_ **

 

“Ah..” He feels like an ass for interrupting, “I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

Sherwin wipes at his eyes with the back of his sleeved covered hand. **_sniff-sniff_**. “It’s okay.” He still isn’t looking at Jonathan, adjusting himself with his arms now wrapped around his own knees - pulled up against his chest. The redhead gives a soft, hidden smile - his forehead pressed down against his kneecaps.

 

“ _I can’t help but fuck things up from there.._ ” Sherwin says, “ _I’m just not good at making friends.. Maybe I’m just destined to not have any._ ”

 

“. . .”

“. . .”

 

“. . . Sherwin?”

 

“. .Yeah. ?”

 

Unsure on how to approach the matter at hand, Jonathan scoots closer to the redhead – giving Sherwin the reassurance that his attention was focused on him, listening. The pale freckled male felt his gaze upon him, his cheeks heating with a hot feeling burning into them.

 

**_He was so close_ **

 

 _In and out Sherwin_ , he thought, _in and out_

_. . ._

_You’ll be OK_

 

Jonathan keeps a small distance between them, setting his half eaten slice down on the box. He then wipes his hands on his pants, leaning back against the headboard with both arms resting casually against his sides. “I’ve never been all too good at making friends either,” the brunette shifts a bit more to sit up, “I mean.. my situation is different, but.. so is yours.” Pale blue orbs flicked over, casting them down at the distressed ridden redhead. He frowned, not liking how he brought Sherwin to this state.  
  
“Everyone has their own set of issues..” he trails off - those blue eyes taking note of the pale redhead in front of him, “sometimes.. we just need a little help to get through them.”

 

The pale skinned kid was trying his hardest to keep in his tears, it made Jonathan’s chest feel heavy with guilt.

 

 _I’m such an ass_ , Jonathan thought negatively towards himself, _I should have just kept my big mouth shut_

 

“Um. . .”  
_Fuck_.. he internally cursed, _where was I going with that..?_  


 

Sherwin’s shoulders jolted when feeling the touch of Jonathan’s hand. Thick red locks bouncing as his head jolted up with him from the surprise. A small, shaky gasp following not too far from that jolt. Though the sudden jolt surprised Jon, the brunettes hand didn’t leave the redheads shoulder. Jonathan wanted to try his best and console him, _it was his fault_.

 

“To be honest..” Jonathan began, “I don’t really know.. how to comfort you..” he wet his lips, “I’ve never really had any real life experience with this kinda stuff..”

 

. . .

 

“But. .” Jon pauses, gathering his words. “I feel like a complete ass for my question.” That tanned hand on Sherwin’s shoulder gave an attempt at a small, reassuring rub. “Seeing you like this..” he paused - pulling his hand back, “it makes me feel bad.. and _I’m sorry_.”

  
All that the redhead was trying to desperately hold back, now began to overflow in rolling streams down his cheeks. He violently rubbed at his face, back and forth with his palms  & the back of his hands as he curled in on himself - hiding his face back into his hands. Sherwin could feel the genuine kindness from Jonathan - unsure with how to interpret his feelings to words.

  
_So kind_.. He thought, _I’m not worthy of your kindness Jon.._

 

**_sniffle_ **

**_sniffle_ **

 

 _I’m not_  
  
  
The sight before him caused great worry, the brunette wanting to help.. but unsure on how to do so. He wanted to ask him if there was something he could do, to tell him if he needed to vent - he could. That Jonathan would be here to listen.. but he was shit in these kinda situations.. unsure of what to say, or what to do.

 

**_hic.. hic.._ **

  
  
With the choked, restrained sobs from Sherwin getting louder, Jonathan frowned. That tanned hand reached forward, deciding to just go for it. Sherwin seemed like the type that wouldn’t get upset if offered to have an arm around him while he cried.  
  
  
He sits more forward, gently grasping at the redheads shoulder. “ _Hey.._ ” the brunette says in a soft whisper, “ _Come here_.” He gives his hand on Sherwin’s shoulder a small squeeze, gently giving a small tug back towards himself afterwards. “ _Come here_ ,” Jon repeated again, “ _It’s okay Sherwin_.”

  
Usually, Sherwin would have double checked to make sure that it was actually alright.. But in this situation - he didn’t protest. Sniffling, he pushed his hidden face up and turned his gaze back to look at Jon. Those brown hues caught sight of the tanned brunettes own blue ones.. bottom lip wiggling as he couldn’t even voice his thank you.

 

The redhead pushed his smaller frame into the side of Jonathan’s own larger one, turning his body to smoosh his face into the brunette’s shoulder. Tears stained Jonathan’s shirt as he sobbed - thin arms wrapping around Jonathan’s toned frame. The redhead muffled his cries into Sherwin’s shoulder, wondering how he got so lucky as to find a friend like Jonathan.

 

_In all honesty.. Whenever he cried, he just wanted to be held_

 

_To be held, told he wasn’t weird, that he wasn’t a burden like everyone at school thought he was.. But most of all -  to be told that he mattered_

 

  
Sherwin liked the comforting feeling of the voluntary physical contact that Jonathan provided for him…

 

 _He’s different.._ That inner voice reassured him, _you should tell him - tell him, before someone else like Seth fills his head with lies_

 

 

**_pat_ **

**_pat_ **

 

 

Sherwin lets out a soft gasp, realizing that when he did - he pushed his face more into that tanned skinned shoulder, sniffling

 

. . .

. . .

 

**_pat_ **

**_pat_ **

 

“It’s okay Sherwin,” Jonathan said, “let it out.”

 

Being locked within the redheads grip, the brunette had to adjust his arms - apologizing to Sherwin when he adjusted himself. The arm closest to the redhead wrapped itself around his back, Jon’s hand cupping at his upper arm while the other one rounded over to thread his fingers through Sherwin’s thick red hair.

**_rub_ **

**_rub_ **

 

Jonathan’s tanned hand now lightly rubbed soothing up and down motions against the upper arm he was cupping. “ _You’re fine_ ,” he said, “you’re gonna be _fine_ Sherwin.. Just let it out.” He spreads his fingers through Sherwin’s hair, liking the soft feeling of the locks that threaded through his fingers.

 

**_sniffle_ **

**_sniffle_ **

 

Sherwin wipes at his face with the back of his hand, his eyes stinging and his nose all stuffed up. He pulls back from Jonathan’s shoulder, deciding to tell him.. Even if he still wasn’t sure on how the brunette would take it.. Especially since he would be told while being pressed this closely together.

  
  
_He’s different.._ That voice rang once more, _just say it._

 

Sherwin couldn’t look at Jon, pretty sure that with his face being how it was from crying - he wouldn’t be too pretty to look at. It wasn’t like he was gonna look at the brunette while admitting it outloud.. But he just didn’t want Jonathan to see how ugly he looked when he cried.

  
**_Inhale_**

 

. . .

 

 ** _Exhale_**  


 

“Jonathan,” he spoke, “I want to be your friend.”

 

 

**_pause_ **

 

 

“But.. there is something that you should know.” He closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against the brunettes shoulder as he tried to gather the courage to speak. “ _I like guys_ ,” he said, “and girls.”  
  
That last part was a lie  
A big fat lie, but he assumed that it would cushion the blow if he told Jonathan that he liked both - instead of just the same sex.

 

Sherwin could feel his chest tightening, a warm feeling filling up in his lower abdomen that made his stomach do flips and twists out of nervousness. His head felt light and he felt like he was going to pass out, the stress really getting to him now.

 

**_gulp_ **

  
_Fuck_.. he internally cursed at himself, _control your goddamned breathing_

 

  
  
“ _And_. . ?”

 

  
  
This made Sherwin freeze, “ _and. . .um. ._ ” he was pretty sure he had just stepped on a landmine. “And. . .I just thought you should know. . .”

  
**_gulp_ **

  
“I wanted to tell you myself before other people at school could fill your head with their lies.”

 

. . .

 

**_pause_ **

 

. . .

 

“Is that why you have a problem making friends at that school?” the brunette mused, “because they’re afraid of being associated with you due to that reason?”  
  
Sherwin sniffles, the built up mucus in his nose evidently being heard adding to his already stuffed up nose. He nods.

 

“ _Sherwin_ ,” Jon began, “ _I still like you_.”

  
. . .

  
_Huh. . ?_

“I like you for you,” he continues, “. . .not what you might be attracted to.”  
  
He gives Sherwin’s arm a small reassuring rub, hoping this would comfort him. “People are jerks,” the brunette now pets at Sherwin’s red locks, pushing them back from his face that’s pressed against his shoulder. _His hair is so soft.._

. . .

  
“ _Fuck them and their unwanted opinions_.”

 

“I want to get to know _you_ better. _You, for you.. Not what other people want me to see you as_.” Jonathan shakes his head, “I won’t let that happen.” **_pet pet_**. “I won’t let _anyone_ fill my head with.. _whatever homophobic nonsense they might try and throw at me_.”

 

He gives a small shrug, hoping that Sherwin understood where he was coming from

 

“ _Everyone is different_ ,” Jonathan began, “ _different_.. in their own _unique_ way.”

“No one is alike… and no one is wrong in what they like, dislike .. or..” he pauses, toying with a red lock twirling around his finger,  “.. _what they’re attracted to_.”

 

“ _You’re fine Sherwin_ ,” Jonathan says softly, pulling the redhead more into his side for ressuring comfort. “ _You’re fine_ ,” he says, “don’t let anyone _ever_ make you feel bad about being yourself.” The hand that cupped around Sherwin’s upper arm removed itself to gently touch the back of his tanned fingers against Sherwin’s pale chin - tilting his head up to have Sherwin look at him.

  
“ _And if they do..?_ ” Jonathan says with his blue eyes locked on the redheads own brown ones, “ _You come and get me_.”


	15. Chapter 15

. . .

 

“ _And if they do?”  
_ “ _You come and get me_.”

 

. . .

 

Sherwin remembered how in that moment, he locked eyes with the tanned brunette comforting him. If it would have been possible to see.. a large mushroom of steam would’ve come from the top of his head…

 

Just thinking of it made Sherwin embarrassed  
He shouldn’t be feeling his heart thump in his chest like this..  
He knew better and he knew he’d have to learn to keep his cool around Jonathan

 

. . .

 

He squinted his already shut eyes tighter, feeling his face go red. He pushed his face more into the comfort of his pillow, letting out a sigh of exhaustion, and frustration.

 _Impossible_ , he thought, rolling to lay on his back. The red head woke himself up with his vision adjusting to the white & bumpy popcorn ceiling. It was about an hour early from the original time when he wanted to get up.

 

**_sigh_ **

 

Sherwin shifted to his side, rolling over and placing his hand on the small and short nightstand. Feeling around for his phone, he accidently touched the light – it being one of those ones that turned on when you tapped it. The light blinded him for a moment, “ _Ahck._.” Sherwin grunted as he shielded his eyes with his free forearm, continuing to feel around for his phone.

  
Aside from the lamp on his bed, he now grabbed his phone and was faced with the direct bright light it emitted.

 

“ _Ah._.” he squinted his eyes, now trying to adjust to this morning obstacle. After a series of nermous finger taps, Sherwin pushed his phone back onto the nightstand. Rolling flat on his back, he stared up at the white ceiling, wondering why his brain worked the way it did.

 

Being assured by Jonathan, actually felt fucking wonderful.

 

_But.._

 

The feeling he was left with, was a strange tug at not only his heart – but his mind. As stated to Jonathan before, the redhead wasn’t used to this kindof kindness. It was strange to him, and now this other feeling? it was foreign.. and he wasn’t sure how to word exactly how he felt.                            


 

His mind worked in a sense of dread.. the worst possible outcome

 

 _Jonathan will leave you_  
He won’t want to be friends with you  
He’s just stringing you along, only to crush you later on  
Be wary, you know why?  
It’s because he’s up to something  
He’s just secretly up to something.. because there’s no way someone like him  
would ever be friends with a nobody like you

 

He rolls to the opposite side, staring at the wall his bed was pushed up against. Sherwin rolls from his side, onto his stomach. He lets out a small, distressed, unsure groaning noise into his pillow. _Why was he so awkward?_

 _  
_  
**_tick_**

**_tock_ **

-

**_tick_ **

**_tock_ **

 

He could feel the non-existent sound of clock hands ticking away as he let out a sigh.

 

 _Shower now then.. I suppose_ , he thought

 

He closes his eyes, they feel tired.. wanting to go back to sleep.. but knowing he would be unable to.

 

The redhead rolls over and pushes himself up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed to let his bare feet touch the cold plate of the tile. He stands, tapping the lamp twice. It’s a little bright, but whatever. Sherwin leaves his phone where it is on the nightstand, turning at his heel and heads over to his bedroom door, heading to the bathroom to take his mornings shower.

He could remember his senses seeming to heighten when their eyes locked, throat tightening up like there was something stuck in it. For a few moments he lost his knowledge of how to form words legibly.. this resulting in the lack of thanks he should have actually given Jonathan.

Instead, after a much needed vent session, he just cried himself to sleep in Jonathan’s arms. Stopping, he could remember waking up only to see a sleeping Jonathan before him. The hardwood floor out in the hallway creaked when he stopped. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he basked in the feeling of what it was like to actually be this walking distaster that was himself.   


_Fuck…_

 

He thought the odds on meeting someone like Jonathan were slim to none, thinking of how lucky it was to have found someone like him.  


Getting to the bathroom, Sherwin closed the door and flipped on the two light switches. One for light & the other being the exhaust fan while he showered. The redhead goes over to the shelving over the toilet, standing on his tiptoes and grabbing the top towel. He sets it on the bathroom counter, the one closest to the shower.

 

Sherwin yawns into one hand while the other pulled the curtain back from the bathtub. Bending at an angle, he stretches his arm out – **_plunk_** – pulling the teardrop faucet out and waits for the water to get hot.

 

Dark brows furrowed at the thought of how he looked when he cried.. it left a bad taste in his mouth. He was curious though, curious, as to what Jon thought of him over the course of these last two or three weeks. Frowning, he felt like an ass for leaving the brunette, shying away from him with offers to hang out. Sherwin remembered how his cheeks darkened when Jonathan offered for him to stay the night, or even just to watch the episode they were originally going to watch.

 

Sherwin shook his head side to side

 

 _He couldn’t_  
No way  


Wet fingers pull themselves back to lift the metal knob on the faucet, the shower head making a spitting hissing sound before giving him a working shower nozzle.

_Dad should probably look at that_ , he thought  
_I’ll leave him a note on the fridge_

  
Sherwin shakes his damp hand before shedding himself of his briefs, picking them up and setting them on the opposite side of the bathroom counter.

 

Turning back towards the shower, he took a few steps forward, stepping on the soft bathmat – before stepping on the shower bathmat. Warm water hit his chest and rolled down his body in streaks, turning his freckle covered body to the side, he closed the curtain to the shower. Turning his back to the nozzle, he closed his eyes, letting the warm water pour over him.  
  


****_The warm water felt nice..  
It felt really nice and to be honest..  
Going back to sleep right now sounded wonderful_

 

Brown hues opened to then fall upon the white tile of the shower he was in. He knew better than to fall asleep in the bath & this led to a soft sigh. Both arms rose when he tilted his head back, getting his hair wet and slicking the frizzy, poofy fluff that was his hair – under the warm stream of the shower nozzle.

 

He wondered how to word his thanks to Jon, still having not properly thanked the brunette for his help in comforting him.  


The redhead wondered how to approach the subject & how to not only word his thanks, but his apology for leaving suddenly that day, even after Jon’s comfort.  
  
  
Ever since that day, neither Sherwin, nor Jonathan had brought up what happened.. and thinking about that day while continuing to hang out with the brunette? It was killing Sherwin inside.

  
The anxiety and paranoia was killing him as to what Jonathan thought of him  
and if he _saw_ him  
  
Sherwin was _pretty_ sure Jonathan didn’t see him staring at him.. but he wasn’t one hundred percent sure and he wondered what kind of thoughts were running through Jon’s head.

 

The redhead sighed – now scrubbing shampoo into his hair.  
  


Here was a guy who held him when he cried, who played with his hair, pushing his hair back from his face & tried his damned best to comfort him. He did his best to communicate with him & even allowed Sherwin to cry himself to sleep while venting about the problems he’s been facing the last couple years.  
  
Here was someone that Sherwin could be himself around & it made him happy.  


Washing out the shampoo, he wondered when he last had a proper vent session. _I wonder when that last was_ , Sherwin thought, squeezing some conditioner into his hand. Lately, that little voice in the back of his head disappeared when he’s was with Jonathan. But when Sherwin would have to see Jonathan out, he trudges his way up the stairs back to his room where he’s alone with his thoughts.. and he hates the things his head thinks up. Every possible situation branching off into one bad scenario after another.

 

Thoughts continued to race through his mind, fingers digging down into his scalp from anxious worry when streaking the conditioner through his locks. “you’re gonna be fine,” he reassured himself, “you’re gonna be fine.”  
  
_sigh_  


Sherwin now ran flowery smelling conditioner through his red hair, rubbing it between those locks that when dried – would become a thick & poofy red. He really hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> felt very productive today  
> huzzah - I'm glad /)uwu(\


End file.
